One definition of "dark" is "the absence of light in a place" and it fits well. Part of the morning had been fine, but as the day went on-- and I mean by the early afternoon-- there was a clear "absence of light" in my day.
It was not only rainy and dreary outdoors but deadlines got to me, sucking the light straight out of myself, as well. Doubts shadowed me, throwing even more darkness into the mix. I began to wonder if everything would actually work out, if I could actually figure things out, or if that's just something that others (and myself) say to trick our minds.
Minds are like that. Science keeps proving new things about tricking ourselves to feel a different way until a person starts to wonder if anything they feel is real.
Am I sad today, or is it just the physical darkness making me think I feel that way? Am I stressed today, or is it my fault for feeling that way because I've bitten off more than I could chew?
Where do you draw the line between forcing something that's not meant to be and pushing on because it just needs a little more work? How do you know if you're lazy or just don't have any ideas worth anything?
It seems that if my thoughts are so complex, there should be some story just complex enough that it wouldn't bore a reader. Just complex enough that it would make all of the answers to these questions just fall into place.
One definition of "light" is "understanding of a mystery or problem."
It's curious to know that in the space of a few hours, you can lose your grasp on the problem and suddenly not know what the answer is anymore. And you ask, "did I not just have the answer? Did I not just a bit ago know where I was going?"
In searching for the light, there have only been more vague answers leading to questions, leading to... no answers.
How does one find the understanding of a problem that they've once had and lost?
Please tell us why you'd like to report this post
Christy ~ currently trying to figure out what’s wrong with me