November 25th, 2018 - Sunday
gotta start it off w music bc music is gucci.
- come out and play (billie eilish)
- when the party's over (billie eilish)
- idontwannabeyouanymore (billie eilish)
- hostage (billie eilish)
- cursive (billie marten)
- la lune (billie marten)
- what if (coldplay)
- i get a kick out of you (michael buble)
- la vie en rose (michael buble)
- when i was your man (aaron tveit)
- what you'd call a dream (aaron tveit)
- have it all (jason mraz)
- come on eileen (dexys midnight runners)
- heroes (david bowie)
- my blood (twenty one pilots)
- little fall of rain (eddie redmayne and sam barks)
- les miserables yeet haven't gotten that far ahahahaha
- whale and national debt articles?
idk i have two different research papers and i'm researching like whales and how we can make better environments for them while we wait for them to die whilst in captivity because we can't just let them free because they'll die in the wild. it's really sad. and like i'm mostly done researching national debt. like, i already turned in the paper a couple weeks ago, but my presentation on it is tomorrow, so... hahaha, sure that'll go great. i hate that class so much, though. like it's easy, it's just dumb, and i beat myself up over it a lot because i make dumb decisions aka i let them overwork me at work and gosh i don't like myself sometimes.
- uhhhh never got around to reading the les mis fan fic oops
y'all i've watched so many movies the past few weeks because of no work and having surgery done and being on break and everything so like i've watched watched way too many movies
- blackfish (whale documentary lol)
- perks of being a wallflower (read the book before you watch it y'all)
- shrek 2??
- barbie swan lake (classic, would recommend, 10/10)
- schindler's list (it was p okay, really sad tho, made me rlly angry bc wwii)
- a beautiful life (same as schindler's list, it's really sad, and the main character frustrates me a lot bc he lies to his son for the entire movie, also wwii movie)
- the spectacular now (ehhhhh, it was alright, not that great, not really sure why we watched it)
- the phantom of the opera (it was okay, idk like the music was okay, not my fav?)
4) mind dump, thoughts, other stuff, idk:
yoooo so like only three weeks of school left, man. winter break is gonna be lit thooo. like idk, man, brodood will be in town visiting, so like that'll be gucci. and like, idk, we don't really have plans, except for a couple parties, but honestly, life is lit when he's involved lolololol. also, wow, i'm actually excited bc this is gonna be my first year having exams before break, like all of my classes end for good before break, so i literally don't have to worry or feel guilty at all over break, it's gonna be so gooood. i'm so excited. :D and hm, in other news, all of my friends are salty at me right now because i never talk to them, but uh sorry? like idk man kinda moved on from them or they're dumb or idk but just really haven't felt like hanging out with them? also have i mentioned that besides the past two weekends, i've closed at work literally every friday and saturday night since school started. ._. so even if i did wanna hang out with them, i wouldn't be able to bc i work on the weekends, man. ._. and also, guysss i tried sushi for the first time ever in my entire life. :D it was okay. and let's see, what else is newwww. idk, i'm for sure taking and already registered for calc and chem next semester, and im super salty because i wanted to take physics, but the class with the good professor was filled up after like thirty minutes of registration opening up. so not taking physics. might take a nerdy coding class and like a humanities class like philosophy or something, cuz i guess you need that to transfer to the school my dad wants me to transfer to. idk tho, man, lately i've just been thinking a lot about how i don't get why i'm letting my dad boss me around and tell me what to do for school when i'm the one paying?? like idk, there isn't really anything stopping me from dropping out of school and moving to a corn field in iowa, man. what if i wanna be homeless when i grow up. that's the other thing man, like i know that i want to be an engineer, but what if i'm not good enough or smart enough or idk enough or what if i don't want enough to put in the effort that will make up for the fact that i'm not good enough. i dunno. also, this past week has been pretty lame. just been kinda out of it, and like my brain is being dumb again and i'm making really bad choices that are bad for me and like really unhealthy for my body, probably, to be honest, and like idk. life is a mess. okay but my brother is missing his earbuds and like he says it's because he didn't lose them and someone took them, like... okay. like i dunno man, i have two pairs, and i never really lose them because i know where i leave them because i guess i'm organized also it drives me crazy because everyone in my family is so disorganized and messy and i'm not and idk in the past i've almost thought i'm ocd, which might explain some things, but it's not so bad that i can't function at all... ish... but like idk the messy makes me lazy and depressed, which is why i always keep my room really clean so i can focus and stuff, i dunno. like i literally got rid of a bunch of stuff a couple years ago, and since i did that, it's like way easier to clean my room. like on my desk i just have two plants and a jar for pencils and stuff and a candle and i have a basket for blankets, and there's my bed, and there's a few things i store under there, and i have my bookshelf which is always kept really clean except for when i leave stuff on it after getting ready and i have like a bedside table bookshelf thing that's shorter and i keep journals and clothes and some school stuff on it with my lamp, but like, that's really all there is to it in my room. not really sure why i just described my room, to be honest. my closet really stresses me out though, because it's really big, but it's really messy, because i never cleaned it after we painted in the summer. i need to do that over break, to be honest. i was gonna do it this past week, but yknow.... fever... sick... brain is dying again... not doing good... etc. there were a lot of things i wanted to get done and do with friends but i just couldn't because i spent like half of break in bed feeling like i was going to die. and so yeah. i went back to work last night, and i came home and had a terrible headache and my legs hurt and my stomache hurt and everything hurt, and i took medicine, which helped, but then i woke up this morning, and my throat hurt and i couldn't talk at all. i have a follow up appointment this thursday, so we'll see how that goes. but anyway, there's a bunch of new people at work, including my neighbor. hahaha, there was a new guy, and i had to train him for like an hour, but i didn't know it was his first day, so like... i failed at training for like half an hour. but then i realized it was his first day and wow i think i gave him too much information, he is probably overwhelmed. he was so nice though. okay but there is this guy at work and he is so nice and innocent and precious and sweet and he showed me how to play pokemon go and we went to a haunted house together and ha i miss him but he changed his availability so we never work together anymore apparently idk i just got back and he texted me the other day so sad also i have been wanting to journal and also stop using electronixs so much, but geez man, it's so hard to not use electronics when you need them for school, and like i need my alarm for work, too, like my alarm is on my phone. idk. but i think i wanna just like quit internet the entire time brodood is here/the entirety of winter break idk. not been feeling well today the food has not been good and i am feeling dizzy so i will stop but i need to go post on the chat thread.
pray to santa that my presentation goes well tomorrow and i get 100 because i need it or i will drop out of school. also pray to santa that this post goes through because i spent a lot of time on it, man. :( sorry for any typos.