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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Oh, that makes sense. Thanks for telling me. I kind of feel like Corinne now, like I know why I feel like I do. Lucy you are seriously the most understanding person ever. You're  the one who's words keep me going in times of turmoil. Yeah Rats its stuck in my head...

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Thank you so much, it means a lot. *huggles* Things will be hard at first, but eventually, you’ll get where you’re going

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yeah. I just made a new friend at camp, all by myself, nobody was forcing me. She's really nice and she also writes, also agrees that the good guys are usually stupid, also is weird, and she's also a little different than me so that's good. But I still don't feel and it freaks me out. I thought I was brushing the problem off and getting on with my life but I think I just don't feel anymore so it stopped affecting me. I stooped being sad, or happy, or mad, or just in a good mood. I'm simply blank.

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

The Great Space. It’s what usually happens with depression. You need help. I hope you find the courage to get it. Anyways, I’m glad you made a new friend

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

This one's for you, Lucy, because you're all the help I'll ever get.

 

If you stay

by my side

through everything, everything

then I will

make it through

make it through

because it's all okay

if I'm with you

your words are sweet

they soothe my pain

and now I will

make it through

make it through

thanks to you

 

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

*huggles* That was beautiful...thank you

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

My emotions change so fast, but at least I have them now... My friend sang my first poem today and it sounded so good I nearly cried.

 

Why can't anyone help me?

Why doesn't anyone see?

Am I the only one like this? 

The only one who can't breathe?

And I am always sinking.

This feelings taken hold and it won't let go.

I need help, help that I can't have.

I wish I could scream, but I'm stuck like this

And I can't.

I can't do anything.

Ever.

 

 

 

 

 

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

I hope you’ll figure out all the emotions soon

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

I wrote this in camp today. It sounds a little weird, but....

 

Fake, fake, fake

And I like it

So this is my life now

Feigning perfection

Succeeding too

But when you look inside...

It's a dark confusion

Like a ball of twine

Knotted beyond repair

And that's who I am

The angel with dark eyes

The smiling face of grief

Perfect outside

Horror inside

Which is the real me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Today was a nice day. I was just thinking about Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson and... wow. That was a seriously good book.

 

I'm learning to live with myself

I'm accepting who I am

I'm finally figurin out

How to make peace with my past

 

Things get rough

Things seem too tough

Things are what we can't control

But I'll do what I can to make a change

 

Good will come in the end

Good is already showing her face

Good stuff are there if you'll only look

And it's been a while, so I gladly accept!

 

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I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

I’m glad you had another good day. Another inspiring poem

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

yeah, things are really looking up, I just feel like life is so awesome right now, and that in itself is an awesome feeling. I also feel like I'm actually moving on now, gonna start 8th grade, it's nice, you know?

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

So glad things are looking up. It might start to suck again because mental illness sucks, but savor these good moments for as long as you can.

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yeah, what sucks the most is that I'm never gonna get officially diagnosed, so when it sucks, nobody will know why. But yesterday I realized that even though this has been the worst year ever, this was just the best. Year. Of. My. Life.

 

I used to think

the world's too much

Used to think

I couldn't survive

 

Then a voice inside

Wouldn't let me go

It gave me a message

That I'd like you to know

 

Hang in there kid

It'll be alright

But you can't just go down

Without a fight

 

So I got back up

I made it through

Now that voice is saying

The toughest kid around?

 

That's probably you.

 

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I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

This just might be my favorite poem yet :)

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Thanks! it just feels so good to be complimented on my poems because I know that they are real and they are me, not some made up junk, something that really shows who I am.

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

That's what makes them so good :)

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

This one started out sad, then the day went awesomely and it got a total revamp.

 

Through my head

these thoughts run

they make me smile

my future's brighter than the sun

 

I think I have

finally found my place

no longer do I need

my little safe space

 

It wasn't great before

it is great now

I don't need to hope for more

because this is perfect

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

I absolutely love this one. It’s so...peaceful

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

No wonder, I made it up while backfloating in a heated pool.... I've been thinking, maybe I don't really have depression, it was just me becoming a teen? Does that make sense?

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

It could be. I remember the first time I told someone about the social anxiety, they said it was just teen stuff and whatnot. But after doing research, I showed almost all the symptoms and was officially diagnosed this year. Maybe try doing some depression research?

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Not really possible, computer is available for limited time, I do have a mother, father, and brother who use it. But if I have time, I can try. I just wish I would know what this really is.

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

I’m not a doctor, so I can’t make an actual diagnosis, but yeah, try researching different mental disorders and if something comes up as a match, then...

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drawingred82

Branch: Lucian

That is a really good idea. You are smart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                        - Lucain

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Lucian-

 

Thank you!

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yeah, Lucy, you really are brilliant. You figured out how to make me feel better, and that takes a lot.

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Thank you so much. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...I’m so, so glad things are getting better for you.

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yeah me too... duh.

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I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Okay, this is so random, But Lucy- you are one of my favorite people in the world. Like, I'd rather meet you than the president. 

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

So on Friday night, as I was climbing into bed, I had this thought and it just made me so happy. 'I can't wait to wake up tomorrow.' And that is big, because I used to cry myself to sleep and hope that I don't wake up.... So this is what I wrote:

 

I can't wait 

for tomorrow

it's so great

to be alive

and just being able

to think like this

makes me overflow with joy

 

I have life

and it's worth living

once you get past

the dark parts

it's all light and peaceful

so thanks to everyone

who got me here

 

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

*huggles* Oh my god, thank you so much. I never really thought of myself as that important, I just try to be a good person and I enjoy helping people. As for the poem, I love how hopeful it is, and love how you have hope now.

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yes I just... I don't know, I'm just really amazed because I never really thought that things could get better, but here I am! And it's just so amazing.

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

As cheesy and cliche as this will sound, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Awww! Yeah, it's true. It's so nice that when I smile now, it feels so natural, not like 'wow you're happy, big improvement'. I also used to scoff at the idea that music can really help anything, but it's actually true. I especially like songs by Ghost because the music is very good, and the lyrics sound like nothing, but if you look hard, there's a hidden meaning.

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

You don't know how happy I am to hear that. Yes, music helps a lot. Personally, I listen to a lot of GREATEST SHOWMAN (I'm trash for the soundtrack) and a lot of eighties music.

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Greatest Showman does have amazing songs. I love how you're always happy that I'm happy! I always thought I had 2 best friends. But I was wrong. I have 3.

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Likewise :)

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

I'm happy :)

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 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Glad to hear :)

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

I think that even though the past few months were pretty horrible, if not for them, I wouldn't be such a happy person. Not necessarily sad, just meh. But now I get happy about everyday things and it's really amazing.

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 BRACHA

 

 Life's tough. I'm tougher.

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                         

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