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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Philly was fun; I blew it and got gloomy on the way home. If something is off in the last sentence, we have mods here don't blame me.

 

Despair

is like a yawning black hole

with no light at the end

nothing to keep you going

as you fall deeper in

it's the same old thing

again and again

there's no way out

except the way to shell

 

 

 

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Woah...deep, but also really good

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Thanks. Good news: my friend and i are writing another book and the main character... basically, she needs this place alot. And this story wasn't even my idea. So I suggested she writes poems to get her feelings straight. And then I told my poem to my friend. And I think she took the hint and realized that's actually me being me, not channeling the main character. 

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

That’s great! I’m glad your friend realized

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yeah... but I wish she knew the actual problem, not just what it did to me...

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I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

She'll find out eventually, don't worry

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icelynx450

Branch: Tomas

How?

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Ohmigod I just came here on my little brothers account... But how will she find out if I don't tell her? I had to gather up my courage for a week before i even tried. Poems help.

 

 

When the hot sticky tears

come rolling down your face

the world moves too fast

can't keep up with the pace

those salty tracks burn, it's true

but at least you can cry

because i can't

 

When your head's under the blanket

and the air is so thick

your eyes are dry

but your heart feels sick

that pain is horrible, I won't argue

but at least you can feel

I can't

 

When you're completely still, still as stone

you're completely cold, cold to the bone

angry shouts floating all around

people are yelling, and you're not found

(nobody's looking for you, anyway)

your heart is gone, there's nothing inside

not a tear or a groan or a sigh or a wish

for the old days to come back

because there's no more you

just  a robot

but at least... at least...

at least you can't be hurt?

 

 

 

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Another well written poem! Well, maybe you could bring up different symptoms that people with depression have, in the hopes that she’ll start to notice them in you

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Whaaaat? No way am i doing that! And that still won't show the actual problem.

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

*shrugs* I hope you'll find a way to tell her eventually

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yes there's a good chance that will happen in the near future. We're having a sleepover soon. And my friends read my poems and they want to know what's going on, so....

 

happiness unwelcomed

creeps in, I push away

I used to wish for it but now

that seems so very strange

Happy makes Sad a villain

that I worked to learn to love

it takes all my security

leaving death hard and bitter

And now i only hope to diet

while death is still sweet

 

 

mods please let this through

 

 

 

 

 

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Your poems are so sad...but they’re good

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

That's me in one sentence. And if you want, I guess I could start making poems about pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows... But I really can't identify with them so it would be pretty hard.

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 trying

 

 

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Ugh. I was happy again yesterday for a little bit. Now i don't like it, because itt never lasts. Just teptts you.

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 trying

 

 

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

I guess you're all happy because nobody comes here anymore... good for you.

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 trying

 

 

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Sorry, sorry! Just got back. Happiness will come and go. Some days you'll feel like you're better, others it'll feel like the worst day ever.

 

Here's something someone told me: Think of three positives to counteract negative thoughts.

 

I know, that's easier said than done, believe me. But it does help.

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Okay. I went to my sisters high school graduation last night, and I actually wrote a non- sad poem. I won't call it happy, exactly, but close enough.

 

I'm moving ahead

gonna leave the past behind

I'm being carried on

the wind of a dream

this dream is a dream

achieved through pain and a soul

that's been through so much

it knows exactly where to go

guided by the wind of a dream

and it takes me to a future

completely unknown

floating on the wind of a dream

but I won't just dream

I'll do it all

and I'll do it all for

the

wind

of

a

dream

 

it's not my usual style so it might be bad....

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 trying

 

 

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

I like this one. It’s your usual style. It isn’t sad, it isn’t happy, but it is hopefull

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

It's not about me, you know that, right? Cuz I'm still stuck in a kids life. 

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 trying

 

 

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

Yeah...but, being a kid doesn’t mean you can’t have hope

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

It does mean I can't go live my own life. 

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 trying

 

 

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

That’s true. If I could do something about kids having more freedom (not a ton, because safety reasons) I would

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yeah... but I think I'm getting better at being happy.

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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bookishunicorn121

Branch: Ekaterina

Awww.... Bracha, those are so good!!! You and Lucy are the best writers ever!!

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                          ʊռɨƈօʀռ

   | ISFP | Libra | Elysium | Scriptor | Ravenclaw |

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

*huggles*

 

Lizzy-

 

Thank you!

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Thanks Lizzy! I had a very good day, even though  the whole problem started again. Yay me!!!

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Bracha-

 

I’m proud of you *huggles*

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dogyellow583

Branch: Ekaterina

I don't want to interrupt anything, but since this was (at least originally) a public thread, I wanted to post...

 

This is an amazing thread and I'm so glad I found this. I'm not currently struggling with depression but I've researched mental illness a lot and I have been through some things personally. I love seeing people encouraging each other and sticking up for other people. :) I just wanted to follow Lucy's example and let anyone reading this know that you can talk to me about things you're struggling with if you need to talk. It's nothing to be ashamed of and I would love to help in any way I can...

 

~Christy

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       christy ~ i'm scared for you. freaking out. i want to just know you're okay... alive...~

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Christy-

 

*huggles*

 

Everyone-

 

If you ever need anything, Christy and I will be here

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swampcloud51

Branch: Janus

Oh wow, this warmed my heart. I'll try this out. 

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Yes I am proud of myself too, especially since the problem is like really really going crazy right now. But I'm kept busy in camp so I can't really think about it. Night time is  a challenge but I retreat into the world in my head and I don't think about it. I still wish I could tell someone though....

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Swampy-

 

Glad I could help :)

 

Bracha-

 

I hope you’ll be able to tell someone soon, too

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catamber1354

Branch: Lucian

I may not have it myself, but I discovered a close friend of mine did. And I just want to say, that's amazing, and I really appreciate you taking the time to write this. 

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I'm Windsong.

 

I am the weirdest person you will ever meet.

 

 

Misfits are often the sanest of people because they're the only ones who have the courage to be themselves.

 

I'm not beautiful

I'm not cool

I'm not perfect

But I'm kind.

 

#Equality

#Kindness

 

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

More poems later. I am getting worse at them, but the poem explains that too.

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

Why are so many random people popping up here?

 

the days stretch on endlessly

and I realize that without pain there is no me

sadness is what fills my life

and without it I'm lost

in enemy grounds without a knife

 

 

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

oh I found this one from maybe two years ago and it's so bad I was cracking up. It's just really funny, compared to everything that's going on now.

 

Drowning

in an ocean

of people

called

cool

drowning

in a sea

of thoughts

about people

who are 

rare

people

who are kind

like you

 

 it's sad. really sad. i was so bad at this.

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I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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icelynx450

Branch: Tomas

here is the poem explaining why I can't write so well any more:

 

I've lost my feelings

and no one knows why

Who am I?

I knew, one time

but not anymore

I'll never know again

everything's changing

everything's changed

and I don't care

I wish I did

but I loved and hated

and now I don't

I've lost my feelings

and no one knows, why? 

 

 

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butterflyamber887

Branch: Lucian

That was me on my brothers account; he doesn't write as well as me. Doesn't write at all, actually.

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 trying

 

 

I wish  all the misery, pain, worries, EVERYTHING, time itself, would stop, just pause a bit...

                                                                                                                     

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agentclue77

Branch: Ekaterina

Windsong-

 

Thanks so much!

 

Bracha-

 

When you have depression or anxiety from such a young age and while you’re still developing as a person, once it starts to get better, you feel like nothing, because you don’t know the person you were before that. I hope it gets better soon

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