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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

Wow...This is so bizzar. I can't believe that after all this time, I'm back. I'll have to admit, I've crept in the shadows a couple of times, checking in on old friends, watching for some to come back, and observing the existence of this sight in general. I haven't logged on though since my last post over a year and a half ago, and I have to admit...my heart was racing just typing in my password. As I re-read my old threads, as I revisited old memories, and as I typed the ever familiar pattern across my keyboard that gave me access to who I used to be, I was transported back to an entirely different life. Just to clarify, no, I am not coming back. After about nine months of debating about it, I guess you could say I'm making this post for a sense of closer. After checking, very few of my friends are even still active, nor do I expect many people to understand it. When it's all said and done though, I don't want to have regrets. I don't want people to worry about what ever happened to me, as I know I have for so many other people. I guess you could call this my Epiloge. After starting to type this up though, I realized that I don't have the time or emotional stability to do this all in one post. I'm going to have to do this in installments, that could be ranging in time from days to weeks. 

 

One last thing before I start: I'm ok. I'm alive. I can't say everything is better, but I am on track. I am safe, and am in a healthy environment. It's not so much that I have recovered. I still have euphoric highs and crushing, deep dark lows. There are still some days where I just think about the past, and my heart just aches so badly, that I don't know what to do. That hasn't left me, and I don't think it ever will without some serious medication. No, I still carry it all, inside and outside of my body. What I do have though, is time and expirance. The ache is familiar. The waves come almost like clock work. I still wear hoddies, but I sometimes push my sleeves up. I still draw butterflies, but they are multiplying, not decreasing. What all I'm trying to say is, am I healthy? Well, I am healthier. Am I happy? In my own way. Have I healed? Probably never fully, but am I ok? Yes. 

 

Last thing, I swear. A few message.

 

@Tessa: I'm so so so sorry about how I've left you hanging for the past months. My mom is still very very careful about everything, (and I lowkey might be breaking a rule with this whole thing...but I needed to do this.) what I want you to know is that I love you to the moon and back. I am so beyond glad to have talked to you this summer, and I promise this isn't goodbye. I'll be back. It might be a while, but I will. I love you so so so much, and you mean more than words can describe to me. You have always been there for me, and I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you. 

 

REQUEST: IF SOMEONE CAN GET THIS TO TESSA (you know where to find her) I WOULD BE SO GREATFUL! THANK YOU 

 

@Jordyn: Thank you for bordum. Thank you for talking. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being a friend. I'm sorry I left. There were some things that needed to be addressed. I love you, and I hope we can reconnect some day. 

 

@Kimbly: I never got to tell you my story, but I'm hoping this might be able to explain some things. I love you, and please know what an inspiration you have been.

 

 

 

Ok, with that said and done, I'll start: 


I guess  I should start from the beginning. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Kari. I have been around this MB before T39C even had its own MB. I have done my fair share of hiding in the shadows, and also my fair share of being active. I have been here for it all. When this was first created, through the Golden Age, and the dark one that followed. After that, the revive that creased the amazing home I learned to love. My safe haven I spent hours on a day, for two years in my life. Now, I guess you could call this the New Age. Most of the Ancients and Legends such as Gabby, Lyss, Lanya, and many more have moved on. Many have gone to collage (yes! Some of us are that old!). Others, have just slowly drifted away. I guess this is where I explain why I left. 

Like I said, I have been watching this place for a while, but I really started to become active in 2013. I don't remember much, (or not much was happening, and we were exiting the dark ages) . There were some classic RPs though, and for some reason I vividly remember the "13 Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator!!! XD XD XD" Thread. In fact, if you are looking for a fantastic laugh, check it out. It's worth your time. Slowly though, I watched as it grew into something. The HSC was revived, Prom became a regular occurrence, and everyone got know everyone a little better. We started living in the height of awesome sauce  and disembodied hand brownies.(yes, you read that right. Search it.) Slowly, I myself started establishing roots and friendships. The best ones always occurs when you don't know how exactly you meet a person. I found this to be true both IRL, and on this forum. Before I go any deeper though, I should give you a little background about myself. 

To be continued...

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

Oh, one more thing for tonight(or morning I guess now)

 

Modmins: Thank you thank you thank you wor everything you do for this sight. Thank you for what you allowed me, and thank you for running and managing this place to be what it is. You guys are the best. 

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

Actually...a couple of questions if anyone is reading this (because I don't want to leave you with such a dark ending.):

 

1) So do people just mainly go by their usernames anymore?

 

2) What is the average age group on here right now?

 

3) Who is well known around here right now?

 

4) What is "in" right now? 

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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whitetiger1202

Branch: Janus

1. Nah, we have nicknames. Mine, for example is Sphinx.

 

2) I'd say 17-9

 

3. Umm, Clev, Jade, Mickey, and a few others.

 

4) Hm. I'm not sure. We have a lot of things going around. There's no "in" thing,

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➳ Sphinx ➳

 

 

Forum Guardian

 

Recipient of Mickey's Respect.

 

 

#Sphinoki (And Prince Sidon too!)

#FreaksLikeMe<3

#MarySuePride

 

ϟ Vine: Forum Twin ϟ

 

Check out my story that I'm writing on the 39CMB! /263177

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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

Wait sorry guys, for some reason everything posted out of order. I'm going to go back and try to repost everything when I have time.

 

@Sphynx: Ok thanks! I guess what I meant is is there any type of popular thread, word, or thing to do around here. 

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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whitetiger1202

Branch: Janus

Hm. We RP a lot, there's a lot of stories going around, we have some games, etc.

 

 

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➳ Sphinx ➳

 

 

Forum Guardian

 

Recipient of Mickey's Respect.

 

 

#Sphinoki (And Prince Sidon too!)

#FreaksLikeMe<3

#MarySuePride

 

ϟ Vine: Forum Twin ϟ

 

Check out my story that I'm writing on the 39CMB! /263177

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musicspy18

Branch: Janus

1) Not really...I go mainly by Jade!

 

2) 17-6

 

3) Mickey/Fenrir, Clev, Sphinx, and Myself! ;)

 

4) Dude! There r so many RPs going on right now!! I have lost count! :)

 

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jade.

 

Stay strong, my lovelies. "Never say Goodbye. Because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting" So this is just I'll see you people later. Maybe in real life one day:)

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ghostsurfer1

Branch: Tomas

I'm still going as Zeke. 

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Ghostsurfer1 aka Ghostbrigadier1 aka Investigatecorpral1  

CoolSyrup

HEY, SMART THAT YOU WOULD HIGHLIGHT MY SIG. MY MB B-DAY IS MARCH 12.

 

 

 

 

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onyxwolf284

Branch: Ekaterina

@Sphinx and Jade

 

You guyyyysssss... *blushes* You guys are just my favorite box of cinnamon rolls ever. *hugs* 

 

 

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mickey. 

 

no more band-aids on my heartaches.

no more smoke when i burn my pancakes. 

no more drowning in my sorrow. 

with my chin held up there's always better luck

tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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whitetiger1202

Branch: Janus

@Kari

 

We aren't the biggest MB anymore, but we are very much like a family here. We care a lot about each other.

 

I guess you could say that this is the Silver age. We have created a haven for everyone, even myself. And while I understand that you will not be coming back, I wish I could have known you. You seemed amazing, and were one of my heroes when I was just a little MBer with no hope.

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➳ Sphinx ➳

 

 

Forum Guardian

 

Recipient of Mickey's Respect.

 

 

#Sphinoki (And Prince Sidon too!)

#FreaksLikeMe<3

#MarySuePride

 

ϟ Vine: Forum Twin ϟ

 

Check out my story that I'm writing on the 39CMB! /263177

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onyxwolf284

Branch: Ekaterina

@Kari

 

I vaguely remember you... You were on around when I first joined. :) 

 

Your story is amazing. I know how you feel. I went through it too. Even the... butterflies. I know how hard it is to heal, but you will, even if it does take time. I admire you oldies so much. Gosh, I love you. You guys are like my parents. X) 

 

I just wanted to say thank you for this post. :) 

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mickey. 

 

no more band-aids on my heartaches.

no more smoke when i burn my pancakes. 

no more drowning in my sorrow. 

with my chin held up there's always better luck

tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

Modmins: Thank you so much for your help with that. You guys are the best.

 

@Jade and Sphyx: I've noticed that just from the wandering around I've done! There was a a group of people that would RP when I was around, but it's cool that it's becoming more and more popular! It really helps develops writing in a really great environment! 

 

@Sphykx: That's good though. For a while, we were so big that it was hard to know everyone. 

 

Really? Thank you. That means a lot. Sometimes I felt like the one who could nevertheless improve. While people were getting better and rebuilding, Kari is over there in her letters in her dark world as always. But I'm glad there was some encouragement that could come out of it. 

 

 

@Micky: Thank you! :) Haha, it really does feel like a whole nother time. I'm glad you feel that way about us! Sometimes I felt like some of the Older Ones would get fed up with the newer "generation". Honestly though, you guys are what would carry on this place as the rest of us start fretting about student loans and hip replacements. XD

 

 

Ok guys, so, I'm going to try to go back and repost some stuff; this time in order. It might be a little while though. Thanks for your reading and support! 

 

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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elfbulldog81

Branch: Lucian

I have to say something: Kari, I LOVE YOUR SIGNATURE!!!! 

Okay. I have that down. Second, I.. think I remember you Kari... I think I began my time a few months(or weeks. Or days) before you left, so I think I remember seeing some of your posts...

As for your questions:

1. No, not really. At least, I don't really know that many people on here that do(however, I think I know one or two people who don't exactly have a nickname...)

2. Honestly, I have no idea. *shrugs*

3. Popular? Clev, Sphinx, Jade, Maddie/Maya/ThorLoki138, and I'm sure others are, too. :)

4. "In"? Well... I do know that the show Sherlock(and other Sherlock-related movies and books) kind-of got popular recently...(though I know of only five people that actually know it...) And I guess... Rps and Stories..? Sorry, I don't really no this one, either. :P

Hi. I'm Elf. :) I guess this should have been done first, but, better late than never, right? I'm Elf and I am IN LOVE with Lord of the Rings and the show Sherlock(but I am reading the books, too, now. :). That was my official greeting. ;) It is really cool to meet you, you seem like an awesome/interesting person. ;) :) 

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ELF

 

"But I don't regret,

Nor will I forget all who took the road with me.

...

To these memories I will hold

With your blessing I will go.

...

I bid you all a very fond farewell."

-Billy Boyd

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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

@Elf: Greetings! :) Thank you!!! I'm glad someone got it! I was so insainly happy durring that scene, and it's all I've ever wanted since the beginning of the show. XD XD XD. My friend and I were joking that it was  the perfect way to start off 2017. It's so bizarre though, By the time you really start to get into the groove of the season, it's over. 

*facepalms* Also...I am still very very lost after TFP. Stephen Moffat will be the end of me. *deep sigh* I'm so satisfied the "craziest fandom" has found it's way here. I remember when I first started watching the show, maybe two or three other people did. 

 

Why thank you Elf. You sound very fun yourself. Your card looks very familiar. *ponders if I have met you previously. 

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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onyxwolf284

Branch: Ekaterina

@Kari

 

I get you. XD That's how I feel on the SAMB. 

 

But I appreciate that! I mean, this MB has been around for THIS long, so I guess we must be doing SOMETHING right. ;) 

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mickey. 

 

no more band-aids on my heartaches.

no more smoke when i burn my pancakes. 

no more drowning in my sorrow. 

with my chin held up there's always better luck

tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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elfheroine1

Branch: Janus

On a random whim I came here to reminisce and see if anyone was still here....and I found this.

 

I'm glad I did.

You know I love you and I will be waiting for you. I'm glad to hear you're doing a little better and are safe. I'm praying you stay that way, and so even better.

I love you so so so much.

 

-Tessa

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I left some time ago with the intent of returning, but years passed and by then it was time to move on and let go. Nonetheless this place will always be special to me, I love you all.

 

-Tessa/Elwing

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challengerfire27

Branch: Tomas

I remember you. :)

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~ Samurai Kyorugi Taegeuk ~

Junior Assistant Taekwondo Instructor

Training for my black belt

Future Olympian

Future Poomsae Champion

#FightLikeAGirl

 

 

 

Lee Dae-hoon <3

 

 

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spyunicorn1

aka FieryLucian3

Branch: Lucian

KARI TESSA WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN I MISSED Y'ALL YOOOOO HOW ARE YOU

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ChuCahill & MBer siπce '12

professional craftinator.

#NeverAgain | #SayNoToRacism | #MeToo

"In 2022, who was best man at Dan and Phil's wedding?"

"A terrifying hybrid of of Chris and PJ."

"Correct!"

#It's A Chain Reaction of Compassion

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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

Wowow. This was over two years ago. It’s so crazy that such an integral part of you can just fade away. I came back to this sight to retrieve some of my old writing, but I felt that I couldn’t leave this without adding a little something.

 

 

@Tessa: Wow. I haven’t written that for so so so long. I owe you so many big apologies. I’ve left you hanging so many times, especially two summers ago. Stuff happened, and, well, I no longer had an internet connection. But none the less, you still bring me so much joy. The green of your card, and typing “Tessa” brings such warmth and nostalgia to my heart that very few things do. You’ve made me a better person, and if you ever read this, ily forever for it. Stay safe and happy my friend. 

 

@Chu HELLO OLD FRIEND! 

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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livelyfire22

Branch: Ekaterina

Hey Kari. I’m pretty sure I saw one or two of your last posts when I first joined....(I may or may not have been lurking the Mbs then...). As for your questions, no "in" thing *remembers "fluffeh"*, popular people are jade, micky, samurai, star (I guess?), cara (but she’s almost never on anymore), and a few others. Lots of rps going on, stories, quite a few forum games...our mb is shrinking, lots. The biggest ones are definitely WoF and the SAMB. The main age group differs a lot, most are between 9 and 20. 

 

Anyway, I go by Sally. I’m a forum traveler, and I’ve been here since 2013. It’s nice to meet you. 

 

Also, your post touched me heart so much. I completely understand it. Every time I come on here, I almost cry. It’s just so many memories. My best friends ever are here, or were here. This place is just so full of friends and love...it’s home. 

 

If if you have any questions about the mb or the peeps here or anything, just yodel, I’m happy to help. 

 

-Sally

 

(common mods, you know the drill; I say "please let this through" a million times, could you just let it through this time? Thanks)

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    Sally

 

HAMMOCFLAVORED DRINK FAMILY

 

I have loved you all for years, and I will never stop.

My friends, my family, stay awesome.

 

#fluffeh

#rememberthelost

 

*you know you're missed when

someone puts you in their sig*

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moonlightsunrise37

Branch: Ekaterina

@Sally: I am too on. I just have to time it, so certain people do know I'm on. And I usually only get on around 10:00 my time. 

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The butterfly’s end

is 

the caterpillar’s beginning 

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crazyteam13

Branch: Janus

@Sally: Thank you, and yes, there was a while where I woule do nothing but be on here. XD

 

Thank you, if you ever want more of that, feel free to stock me. :'D This place will forever be a home. It truly has shapped who I am, and I think about it all the time. 

 

Thank you again! I doubt Lyss is still around?

 

(Are posts not going through?)

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Thank you to all,

for all that you've done.

~Kari

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pizzapizza263

Branch: Janus

Kari...o_o...

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 ~*Alissa*~

"He smiled and intertwined our fingers.  “If I’m going down, at least I’m going down with you.” "

-Andrea/ArtisticWords12

 

 MB Member since 2012

 

"You may not see it, but I'm smiling on the inside because of you." 

 

18

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amethystmeadow15

aka AmethystMeadow2

Branch: Lucian

Kari, I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I just wanted to thank you for how much you've done for me. You read all of my long paragraphs, you put up with my hyperactive personality, and you always cared about my well-being. That meant more to the fifteen-year-old me than she could put into words. At eighteen, three years after I've lasted posted on the MB, I still feel the effects of my time with you all the time. I still have Flight by Lifehouse on some of my playlists. I still keep a journal with letters to no one, from no one, like you used to write. I still use that darkened room metaphor that I posted for you one time to help my struggling friends.

Over time, I've forgotten a lot of things about the MB, but I remember clearly how caring and empathetic you are. I firmly believe you have a great capacity for understanding the human condition and that it will take you places. Wherever you are, I'm always rooting for you.

 

Love always,

Kimbly

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Kimberly

 

No matter what I do, it never feels like enough.  I want so badly to protect the people I love from harm, but my love is not strong enough.  How can I learn to make peace with that?  How does anyone? The Sisters’ Fate