So, There's actually a video of this on YouTube (by a channel called BLIMEY COW) but I decided to put it into writing because reasons. So, let's get started.
Let's be honest, going to the eye doctor is a night mare. First, the eye doctor's assistant gives you a preliminary eye test: What's the lowest row of letters you can read? And you're like: Oh yeah, I'm gonna nail this! A P C E uh...oh no...is that a D or is that an O? O? U...J? Uh, is that a D or is that a B? Uh...it's a B! Wait that means that the other letter was D not an O! Uh, excuse me, can I restart this?
Then, once your confidence and your vision is at an all time low, they kick you while you're down.
Eye Doctor: You didn't do so well on the eye chart, so your eyes need to be punished now.
So they sit you down in front of a machine which I'm pretty sure is called: That-thing-that-shoots-air-into-your-eyes-and-makes-you-cry
Once you've got tears streaming down your face, it is now time to wait in the examination room for the doctor to arrive. And while you wait, you're treated to walls with various eye diseases, and you start to think: Holy cow, what would I do if I ever had an eye disease? W-What if one day I go blind? Literally everything I do is depended on the fact that I can s-
Eye Doctor: Hi! I'm the eye doctor! How we doing today?
So, now the doctor is here and after they point the flashlight in your still crying eyes, then comes the...Eye Doctor Machine? The Eye Checker? The Monster Glasses? What is it?
2 minutes later
Okay, so I just looked it up on Google Images, it's called: The 20/20 Expirence. Wait, no, sorry, sorry, it's called a Phoropter, sounds like a dinosaur. So, the doctor brings out the Phoropter Raptor and begins to test your vision. Nothing is more nerve wracking than playing the game "Which is Clearer?".
Eye Doctor: Which is clearer? 1 or 2?
Eye Doctor: 2 or 3?
Victim: Uhhhh...2 again?
Eye Doctor: Okay...
I mean, I truly think that every other part of the examination doesn't actually do anything because this one machine, The Phoropter Raptor, tells them everything they need to know in like, two minutes! And what a grueling two minutes it is, my friends. I mean, what if you get it wrong?
Victim: Actually, I think the last one was actually 3 intsead of 2. Uhhh, can you show me it again?
Eye Doctor: Oh, it's fine, we got it.
OH, MY EYE SIGHT FOR THE NEXT YEAR RIDES ON THE FACT WHETHER I THINK 2 OR 3 IS CLEARER! So then they tell you:
Eye Doctor: Well, it looks like your prescription hasn't changed, and that's good new, isn't it?
What? No! The only reason I came here is because I'm pretty sure my eye sight has gotten worse! I knew that 3 was clearer! This is a disaster! And just when you thought that things couldn't get any worse, the doctor tells you this:
Eye Doctor: Okay, so now we're going to dilate your eyes! Basically, I'm going to make your eyes feel soggy for the next 3 hours! If you look at the sun you'll die...
Now, if this is the first time you've gone to the eye doctor, you get to decide if you want glasses or contacts. Here's some free advice, both are terrible. If you pick contacts, they're not going to let you leave, until you can successfully put them into your eyeballs. This could take 30 minutes to an hour of your time, and there will be tears.
And if you decide on glasses, you'll have to pick out frames without being able to see because they've dialated your eyes. But, when you're all done, you get to go home with a pair of really cheap sunglasses they gave you so that the sun doesn't destroy your vision.
All and all, a fun day at the eye doctor.
And now, you just have to live with the fact that you said 2 instead of 3, why did I do that!?
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