I'm sorry I haven't been on here. I had read the first message and you aren't a selfish twit. Thank you for being so happy for me about how well my testimony went. A couple of days later I emailed the pastor even though I wasn't going to, and this was her response:
I fully intended to write you a beautiful card but it has been ONE of those weeks, and I'm debating not even showing to a mandatory meeting with the Bishop tomorrow to get my stuff done! So I'll write in my less attractive black and white email....
You did a beautiful job on Sunday, and I was very grateful for God's strength as He sustained you. I did try to hug you as you left the pulpit, but you were too fast! Bolting down the stairs with Jesus on to your new life. I guess that is a metaphor for things to come! :) I wonder how I will keep up with you now!
It took a lot of courage to share. He's is such a great God. All things work together for good....Romans 8:28.
Grace and Peace, Pastor Cathy
Obviously that meant a lot to me. She is a wonderful person and she means a lot to me.
I understand the moodiness, and that's unfortunately part of being a teenager, but apparently doesn't necessarily go away after one's teen years. Bummer. I'm glad that you have come to an acceptance of things regarding your illnesses. That is really major. The serenity prayer is a really good prayer to pray to remind us of those things. I need to break that out right now and be praying it as well!! I found a nice colorful one on Google Images and put it on Word really big. It's also good that you are "on strike". You need to make your point. I hope that you have been able to hold out. That is cool that you changed your signature. I like the colors. I'm a bright and colorful kind of person in what I like to see! I really like your quotes, especially the one by Michelle Williams.
When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember that the teacher is always quiet through the test. -Unknown
But Mary gives probably the best advice of all about how to relate to Jesus when she told a group of men in John 2:5, "Do whatever He tells you." - Paul Strand
I'm actually not doing very well myself right now. The low after the high, I think. It started yesterday. I was already not expecting much last night when I helped with the kids from the Hungry Hearts program, the low income families. Brianna and I were to have the parents sign their children in as they entered the sanctuary, then sign them out as they picked their children up from the sanctuary. Then Brianna and I were to take the kids upstairs where they would practice a song with kids from our regular children's choir so they could sing it together in front of the sanctuary next week.
So, I arrived and Brianna had me set up with a table, paper, sign up sheet, and fliers in the back of the sanctuary in case parents came in the door from 2nd street to enter the sanctuary. After I had sat there for 10 minutes, I realized that she took me for a dope. The ONLY entrance that is open on both Wed (when church members come for dinner and bible studies, etc.) and Thursday BECAUSE they want to make sure that the people are contained, basically. On Wed, if someone they don't know enters the doors, they greet them and make sure they get to one of the Bible studies and all so they make sure they aren't just roaming the halls to steal or to abuse kids. For the Thursday night people, it's kind of the same thing. It's mostly a safety factor and to make sure that anybody who shouldn't be there is left behind when the doors are locked. Sundays are handled totally differently and all of the entrances are open and the the whole place is checked before the church is locked down. So, in other words, Brianna had me sit near a locked door to help sign in kids that wouldn't be coming through that door with their parents. That ticked me off so badly and I didn't know what to do about it! So, I just sat there both praying and fuming.
Eventually it was announced that Brianna and Jan were to take the kids out to an activity, and there were two small children who were coming from the back of the sanctuary by where I had been sitting and I'd noticed them as I'd gone halfway down the outer aisle, so I went back and met them with their parents. I introduced myself as Jan and said I would take their children. They were both about four. The girl was crying quietly, but I talked to her quietly and encouragingly. It wasn't a big deal. Then I turned around and there was Brianna with about ten kids right behind me and she took the girl from me and started to walk away. I was like, "What, am I an idiot again or something?" So, I just followed behind. She was in the lead, so I stayed behind so no kids would stray. But, when we got to the steps, she let half of the kids go up the steps and had me go up as if I couldn't even be trusted to bring up the rear. This is the third time I wasn't to be trusted.
So, we get up there and we all sit down and Brianna is with the girl who is still quietly crying. The choir leader has us all introduce ourselves and the 4yo boy, Joshua, who was sitting beside me, bolted as soon as the singing lesson began. I went after him. There was a huge 3-D cardboard horse in the back of the room. Of course it caught his interest. So, I talked to him about it very quietly for a bit, then he took off again, and I followed him and put him on a chair on the end, which was behind Brianna. Josh was a hyper little guy, but I'd seen him before with his Dad and two younger brothers and he'd behaved very well, so I wasn't too worried. This was all just new to him. He fidgeted and then he saw posters high up on a wall with Spiderman, Batman, and Superman. I kept him in his seat and quietly talked to him about them and directed him back to the singing. Josh didn't sing, but he did remain quiet. It was a HARD song! It's an elementary kids choir which does include 4yo's, but they practice the song an hour a week for four weeks. (They sang it two weeks ago during the service.) These kids will get less than an hour in two weeks to practice, then present it. I couldn't believe that they didn't do something a bit easier. Plus, the choir director kept mixing up the words. Seriously?
Then, it was time for the service to be done, so we went downstairs ahead of the regular kids, who waited in the classroom with their two teachers. This boy forgot his soda up there, so I was charged with taking him up to get it, which is a violation of the safety policy even if I AM a kid myself. And, Josh having been with me that whole time, came along. So we went up and the door was locked, so it took a bit to get the attention of those still up there before we could get the soda and come back down. Then we had to wait about another 10 minutes for the service to be done because sometimes it does go over just like our services go over. Brianna started a game of duck-duck-goose and realized right away that it was a bad idea. So, she switched to "Mother May I". She started, and then realized the kids would be moving again, so that wasn't a good idea, either. So, she made it backwards. She chose a kid and the kid was to say, "Mother may I" and then ask something and Brianna would say yes or no. If the kid asked to clap their hands, she would say yes. If the kid asked to take two steps forward, she said no. That made the kids not want to play so that whoever she called on wouldn't say anything. Sheesh!
Then when the service was done, Brianna stood right in the doorway to catch the parents so they would sign out their kids before the kids could leave. Because of where she stood, people were pushing and shoving to get by because they had no idea what the hold up was since this had never been done before. She COULD have taken the kids to the sign up table. It is a huge entry way that is the length of the sanctuary and more than half the width of the sanctuary. The kids and I could have stood with her and everyone else could have very easily gone around without pushing and shoving and yelling.
Next week is going to be the same. I don't know where I'll be when she signs the kids in next week, but if she tries to put me at the other door, I'm going to remind her that the door is locked and I'm not needed over there. Then we take the kids out before the announcements so they can practice, then we go back downstairs at some predetermined time, and because of Josh and the little girl, we will probably have to be up on the steps with the kids as they sing. I wouldn't be surprised if Brianna has both Josh and the little girl stand with her. Then the following week, we go back to watching the kids from the back of the sanctuary during the service so we can go up and correct them during the service like religious police officers or something because, she says, the parents don't and the kids get wild. The first/only time I did that with her, the kids behaved perfectly. If there is a problem, I'm sure she will rush in to take care of it even if the child is right in front of me. I really don't know why I'm there except that this week and next she needs another body. Otherwise, I don't see where/why I'm needed. The whole point is to have a PROGRAM for these kids during the service so that all of the adults can focus. Josh's dad comes by himself with his 2yo son and an infant son. He keeps them quiet and well-behaved even if they are antsy and he sits in the back so that if they are somewhat noisy, they won't disturb others. Last night I heard and saw him BOAST that Josh was going to class. He was PROUD! And Brianna keeps telling EVERYONE that the parents don't want to send their kids to a program. I think that when we go back to being religious police and Brianna leaves right after the service, I stay like I did that first time. I only watched that first time because the entire Family Life Center was filled with tables that were full of people. There were three times as many people in there as are there during our Wednesday night church dinners, so it was intimidating. If I were to go around and ask the kids how they liked going to singing and would they like going to class, I bet most of them would say yes. Then I would ask their parents if they would like their kids to be in a program while they were in the service. I would like to see all of their answers. If I did that and got mostly positive answers, Brianna wouldn't be able to make excuses, but it wouldn't make Brianna happy. Maybe since Brianna won't be there, I can innocently ask Pastor Cathy, "Hey, I just had an idea! Would you mind if . . ." and see what she says.
Wow, that is a lot of complaining about one thing. Sorry about that. I hadn't realized. The whole thing just frustrates me a lot.
It's also the first day of spring. And we have tons of snow on the ground and it's still snowing and yesterday's high temp was something like 57 degrees. The record snowfall for our area was 5" in 1965 and we're on our way to possibly breaking that record! Poor Freedom, the mama eagle is probably wondering if the seasonal time clock inside of her is off or something. The eggs are due to hatch any day now and she is probably thinking, "My babies can't hatch with all of this snow out here! Don't come out yet my little hatchlings!" They were born three days apart, so they won't hatch on the same day. I want to be home on at least one of the days that an egg hatches and not have to miss a second of it! My sis Mary read that if the first eaglet is bigger than the second, then sometimes it kills the second one and the daddy and mama don't try to stop it. That is awful! That better not happen this time! There will be tons of people yelling at their computer screens if it does happen! Most people won't have done any research to know what is going on.
This is so long it's ridiculous. I have to get something to eat and do some school work and stuff. I haven't been on the MB as much, so don't be worried if I'm not here, but I'll come when I can.