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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

While I was chatting with someone else I remembered that this person who is my friend who used to work at the library TOTALLY lives so close to where the highway meets town. DUH! *facepalm* IDK WHY I never thought of that before. Maybe it just had to hit me the way it did "talking" about it like now. She would TOTALLY let me leave my bike at her place. She knows all about everything that happened.

 

The inspections are to make sure we are taking care of the place. Not so much that we are keeping the place clean (but that IS part of it), but to make sure we aren't breaking things and ripping up carpets and stuff. It's amazing how many people trash their apartments and have to be kicked out. They know the ones who wouldn't do that based on past inspections and how long we've lived here, but they have to inspect all of us, of course. Also, in case something like the water heater is leaking and maybe we didn't know it to report it or something. It's a pretty big complex. It's not the biggest in our area, but it's one of the nicer ones for the cost. 

 

I love peppermint bark. I just tried a Ghirardelli one at the library last week. YUM. The patrons always bring the librarians homemade stuff, donuts, candy, etc. Our library is the only one where the patrons treat us so well. MY weakness is ice cream. Chocolate peanut butter is #1. Then cookie dough, chocolate oreo, butter brickle, and a bunch of others. Butter brickle only comes out as a special monthly flavor, though. I'm diabetic, so I can only indulge a little bit every once in a while. That is hard!

 

I'm glad you borrowed Wonder. I bet you play the piano so well. My 9yo niece Abigail is learning the violin. Her 7yo sister Jocelyn decided she wanted to learn the piano. As soon as Joce wanted to learn the piano, Abigail said she wanted to learn the piano along with the violin. I felt bad for poor Jocelyn. It's hard enough having an older sister who is good at EVERYTHING (truly) and now she wants to do what you are doing and since she is older she will likely outshine you! My Grandma talked their dad into saying no. Mary, my half-sis had the wisdom to say no, but she isn't the musician in the family, Joe is and he felt that whatever she wanted to learn, then let her. But he heard the wisdom from my Grandma. Grandma suggested that he make Abigail feel special by asking her to teach him the violin since that is one instrument he doesn't know how to play. There is an ADORABLE photo of Abigail teaching her dad the violin! 

 

I am going to have to get off of this computer soon. I have two more things to do, then I'm OFF! I will catch up with you tomorrow probably.

 

George

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

I feel so stupid.  I saw that you starred my post yesterday, so I knew that you read it, and I've been waiting for a response.  So I went about my day and...nothing.  So I'm starting to get kinda sad, wondering if maybe you forgot?  so should I just post something like a "hey!" or something? then I realize that there is a second page.  *facepalm*

 

I'm in the middle of something right now, but I will reply to your note when I'm done.  :)

 

~Aurora 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

You know what, I have done that sooo many times it is nuts! =)

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Eeeek!  I am so glad that you figured that out!!!

 

The patrons at your library sound so nice!  It reminds me of when I lived in New England; everyone was so nice there.  We had some super nice librarians, and there was always all sorts of crafts and games and events happening.  

 

I actually put a chopped up Ghiradelli peppermint bark bar IN the shortbread!  Oooooh, it was so good!  (was, it's all gone now!)

 

Wonder is great!  I am at the part where he just went to his first day of school and then came home and cut of the braid.  

 

Piano is an internal war for me.  I still LOVE the violin, but right now I am hooked on piano.  I honestly haven't even practiced violin in over a week, but I play piano several times a day.  It's just because it's new and stuff--the same thing happened when I got an ukulele--but right now I am afraid that my violin performance is suffering.  Plus the piano is just so convenient.  I walk in and play.  Violin takes tightening of the bow, rosin, shoulder-rest-placing, tuning, aggghhhhhh...  Yup, add lazy to the list.  XD

 

So I'm going to go and settle the war and practice le violin now.

 

~Aurora 

 

P.S I also felt like typing super big for some reason ;)

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Aurora,

 

You are funny! I didn't think of Patty earlier because my mom would drop me off in town with my bike on her way to work. I'd spend most of the day at the library, but there were other places to go and spend time. Stores. Diners. Just riding around. Lunch with Patty, sometimes also with one of the three others. 

 

I'm glad you are liking Wonder. I did play the piano for one year. I was in fifth grade. I have no ear for music. I can't carry a tune. It was sooo hard for me to read music. It might be kind of like some math stuff for me like algebra and geometry - a sort of dyslexia, but with equations, graphs, left and right, maybe musical notes, too, IDK. I had one recital. I played Indian War Dance, I think. I couldn't remember how to finish it, so I played the song over and over about three times until I finally remembered the ending. I quit not long after that. I can see the appeal of the piano over the violin based on what you said, though.

 

Later, George

 

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

That just made me wonder if I'd be able to learn braille well enough. It's called dyscalculia. Maybe that wouldn't be a great idea after all. If it were to extend to music notes, it could definitely extend to braille. It's too different from a foreign language. I can read, write, and speak a foreign language. Not so with braille. I'm glad I thought of this.

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

It sounds like you handled your recital really well.  I mean, the first the thing is performing is not to let people in on the fact that you messed up.  So have a smiley face: :)

 

My mom has dyslexia/dyscalculia, too.  The whole left/right thing happens soooo often!  When my brother's driving it's like, "Go there.  I mean left.  No right." and then by that time we've already missed the turn.  XD  

 

But at the same time, she's managed to learn Braille. ;)  So if that was an "easy out" or something, I'm not trying to be pushy, just trying to give you some hope if you needed it.  

 

I'm gonna rant for a minute, feel free to tune out:

 

You know that half-conscious, I'm-awake-but-I-am-going-to-keep-sleeping state?  Well I got a stinkin' migraine this morning, but I couldn't tell if it was really happening or not because I was half-asleep.  And then, trying to make it go away, didn't wake up until like 11 (and my face felt like a balloon), which meant I didn't really feel like taking another hour to properly get ready (like showering and doing my hair).  So I decided I'd just shower later (like that's going to happen).  And, sigh, I still have the migraine, which makes me so not hungry, but I also know that if I don't eat something I'll feel worse, but at the same time still had that toothpaste taste in my mouth, so I just had a glass of water.  Which means now I have both a migrtaine AND low blood sugar.  Way to go.  And lunch is supposed to be soup (which I don't like), but I think I'm going to cheat and have grilled cheese.

 

Wonder is really well written.  Thank you so much for recommending it!  I haven't been reading it "full time" (just a half an hour a day-ish) and now Halloween's over.  :'(  So sad.

 

~Aurora

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Yeah, that's what my piano teacher said. That probably nobody except her realized that I'd messed up since I kept going. I didn't know what else to do, so I'm glad it worked out like that.

 

Somebody else has heard of dyscalculia! I'm shocked, amazed, and impressed. It's too bad, though. If she learned braille, then maybe I could, too, then. No, it wasn't an "out". I just didn't want to waste anyone's time or feel like a fool if I couldn't learn it.

 

I don't like that half awake/half asleep state, but mine is very different from yours. I am leaving in about 6 minutes, so I'll have to tell you about it later. But it sounds like you had a rough morning because of it! Sorry to hear that. Migraine's suck. 

 

One of the books I'll be picking up from the library is Remarkable. Not sure which order I'm going to be reading all of these six books. Delaney wants me to read The Lightning Thief as soon as I'm finished with the book I'm currently reading. I'm so glad you like Wonder. It IS very well written. It mush take so much research and interviews to write such a book and do so well with it and everyone's POV. 

 

Later, George

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

:(  I don't think my reply went through.  I was so going to copy/paste and then decided not to.  I'll retype later.

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Sorry about not replying earlier; it didn't go through, and then I didn't have enough time.

 

My mom mostly gets messed up with numbers, but left and right is still a big problem.  Most of the time she just says go there.

 

Now for braille: you could learn grade 1 pretty easily.  And this is the reason why my post didn't go through; I tried to refer you the the NBP site.  Just google "NBP Alphabet".  They have a really nice braille alphabet card.  You can even get an embossed one sent to you for free. (my first encounter with braille was actually with one of those same embossed cards!)

 

Its funny because that half conscious state is my favorite part of sleep.  I don't always hit REM (its getting a lot better), so I often don't feel "rested" when I wake up.  Just laying there and resting is so nice for me.  

 

I have to continue editing: I only have about 10 minutes left of footage to edit, then I can put it all together.  After that I need to go and pick the scenes I want to overlap the monolouge.  Almost there!

 

~Aurora

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

How are you?  I've had a busy week!  It felt so good to sleep in this morning!  Now I'm going to complain:

 

Ugh these stupid migraines have been happening everyday now.  Luckily they are mostly on and off vs. all day.  To make everything just so much more peachy, I woke up with a bloody lip and my ribs/chest/side are killing me.  Its probably just the cold air.  

 

My film is almost done though!  It will be completely finished by tonight.  Looking at it now it seems pretty stupid, but I'm gonna just keep going.  What's the worst that could happen?

 

Yeah.  I'm pretty much just stalling until I have to leave and finish editing.  And I guess my time is up.  ;)

 

Talk later,

Aurora

 

  

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Thanks Aurora,

 

I went to the site and requested a card! We'll see how that goes. 

 

I have had an official sleep test at least twice. I have 0% REM sleep. How messed up is that? Yet I do have an in between sleep state. It happens if I am reading or if I am just so tired that I start to fall asleep before I can turn out the light. I recognize it more when it happens when I'm reading though. It is like I'm dreaming, but it's so real that I'm reading, but a totally different book. All of the sudden I think, "Wait, that's not what this book is about!" So I wake up and read some more, then it happens again. If I'm not reading, then I'm not quite sure if I'm asleep or not until I realize that I'm not laying down. I'm not sure if I want to see where this story in my head is going or not, but by then it's out of my head. It is so weird how that happens to me! I am thinking as I write this that I should have pen and paper right there and try to remember this stuff. It might make for a good story every once in a while!

 

Ow! I've had migraines, but I don't know if I could live with them. I'm sorry you woke up with that pain. Ugh! I have health issues, too, but not as bad as yours. I have started back to walking so I can see if my physical therapy has been helping me enough so that I will be able to quit soon. I walk around the block of my apartment building, which is only 2/10 of a mile. I usually walk 4-5 around times a day. I started back with 2x's around a couple of times. I've done 3x's around a couple of times. Yesterday was VERY windy, so it took a lot for me to push myself to go that last lap. Today I'm going to see if I can do 4x's around without my hip or shin hurting. Tomorrow I might be able to get another walk in after church, but before the snow comes. If I can do this without pain, then I will be discharged from PT with a home program to keep the hip strong so I can walk. I also have plantar fasciitis, so every 4 months or so I have to get a steroid shot in my right foot. Right foot, right hip, right shin. Stupid right everything! =)

 

I'm finishing reading Heist Society by Ally Carter and I've started to read The Lightning Thief. TLF is a good book, but I'm not sure if I'll read the other books after this. I know that the gods are myths and all, but people really believed all of that stuff at one time. It kind of creeps me out when I'm supposed to just focus on my God. That's why I haven't wanted to read it all of this time. I'll finish the book and see how I feel. My Grandma was really against me reading HP and doesn't know I've read the series. I see it as good vs. evil. I don't buy into all of the witchcraft and stuff. There is good and evil everywhere. IDK. Maybe HP and PJO is sort of the same, I'm not sure.

 

I bet your film isn't stupid at all. I bet it will be great. I think it's neat that you do something like that. You have so many areas of interest and talent. I guess I just don't know what is available in our community. Our county has a book that is filled with community services and agencies. They are free to county agencies and non-profits, etc. I went to an agency and looked through one. It is as thick as a dictionary. Yet there are so many areas which are lacking. Like for the blind and deaf. There is almost nothing for teens, especially underprivileged teens. There is a small agency, but there is no transportation for those teens who live more than a mile away, and that is a LOT of teens. If they are helping underprivileged teens, then they should have some transportation. If buses can get them there after school, the agency should have a way to get them home. There were hardly any places for me to volunteer. It was frustrating. I didn't even know I could volunteer at the library until I realized that others were doing it. I'm the only kid volunteer. I bet that book would be twice as thick if EVERYTHING that was available were in there.

 

Well, I'm going to go. I'm going to do some cleaning, read a bit more, then walk.I like to walk about the same time every day. Routine. Later! George

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

So I go on here earlier all intending to type up a beautiful reply about how amazing of a person you are, etc, etc.

 

And what do I go to type now that I have the "time"?  An awful letter about how mad I am at the world.  And now I feel terrible for not writing about what I was going to, but I am so not in the mood right now.

 

The thing is, I worked really hard on this stupid film.  I've spent like 20 hours+ on it.  And its due tomorrow.  So I go to edit it in the other program and its all lagging and stuff.  So I export it back to just windows movie maker and now everything is all skewed: like you hear a sentence and then the me on screen will say it.  UGH!  So I spent another hour with the hopeless thing and give up.  But I can't ever seem to quit something, so I end up going at it again.  And after ANOTHER hour and I'm about to send it in; the program crashes.  And takes my stupidly unsaved file with it.  

 

So now I'm left with NOTHING except for the background clip of me talking in front of a wall.  That's it.  No fancy clips, or fade outs, or piano music, NOTHING.

 

And I just want to scream and cry all at once and I've been getting sicker everyday and nothing is working right and..and..and....I just spent my whole letter complaining instead of thanking you.

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Aurora,

 

That is what friends are here for. I am sorry that you have had such a rotten day. It has to feel awful to have spent sooo much time on that film creating it, editing it, tweaking it, trying to fix it, only to have it disappear into the netherworld black hole of cyber-space. Computers sure are awesomesauce - until they aren't!

 

I can definitely understand how frustration and anger can all well up and take over to such a degree that your inner Hulk wants to come out and do some serious damage just for the sake of doing damage because of what happened. 

 

I'm also sorry that you've been getting more sick every day. I know that must suck so very much. I wish I could take all of that away from you. I wish the doctors had answers for you. I think that YOU are amazing because of how much you do in spite of everything you have to deal with regarding your health. You are a great person and friend. You are passionate about the things you do and want to help others. All of that is great. I'm just sorry that you had to suffer this set-back. I'll be praying for you!

 

George

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

George,


Thank you so much.  You are such a wonderful and empathetic person.  You are so compassionate; you always push aside your own worries, wants, and desires and focus on others.  You always restate what I say to make me feel more important.  Then you follow up with a related topic from your own life--but you never try to "one-up" me.

 

You yourself are obviously not in fabulous health, but always shrug it off as nothing.  I wish I could do that.  I wish I could say that I care more about others than myself, but I'm not sure if I'd be telling the truth.  

 

So just thank you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Because even though I might be getting sicker now, the day I started talking to you I instantly felt better.  And I still feel better in some ways.  Its like in Wonder when he says that he's hearing brighter; I didn't know what I was missing until it happened.

 

Thanks again times a million,

Aurora

 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Aurora,

 

It is so easy to be your friend because you are a great friend to me as well. You are encouraging, trying to motivate me to find my passion, and to try new things. I'm grateful for that because I need to step out and take some risks.

 

I just cannot believe how strong you are in spite of all of your health issues. You persevere and never seem to give up or to coddle yourself - you always seem to have a "can-do" attitude. That is so awesomesauce that you are like that. You have so many interests and talents. I'm sure that there are many times that you aren't able to do the things that you want to do, but in the long run, you keep going and never give up. That is something of which to be proud. It is amazing. The health issues that I deal with are nothing compared to yours.

 

So, what are you going to do about the film? Do you have to do it again or do you get to do something else or do you just get a failing grade? I do hope that you don't get a failing grade.

 

God bless you, Aurora. I will continue to pray for you! I want to always be here for you, my friend!

 

George =) 

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

George,

 

I don't know what happened.  I wrote a fairly nice looking letter last night right after I sent the other one and it never went through.  I mean, there wasn't really any "iffy" content in it, nothing I would have thought the mods wouldn't like.  I'm going to rewrite it as best as possible below.  All I really talked about was sleep and stupid doctors...  

 

Did you have to do those sleep tests where they hook you up to a million wires?  If so, I'm giving you mad props.  The doctors have been wanting to do one of those on me since I was like 5 or 6, but my mother won't let them.  She said that I was already such a dreadful sleeper and that it would just scar me for life and I'd never sleep again.  :P  Which is actually probably true, because who sleeps anywhere near to normal while being closely monitored?  But because they never had any "evidence" of obstructed breathing while I sleep, they couldn't treat me, do surgery,or remove my tonsils.  How stupid.  I mean my tonsils are huge.  And I obviously can't sleep.  What more evidence do you need?  And the best part is I had to go into surgery anyway so it wouldn't have even been a big deal to just pluck the tonsils out while they were at it.

 

I hope you are walking better!  That sounds so awful.  See, we are sick in two totally separate ways.  Well except for the physically active part I guess because I can't breathe very well, but I can still bike and stuff--its just really pathetic looking.   

 

And I am impressed by your blunt attitude towards shots.  I understand that you're not really afraid of them, but that's the awesomesauce part!  I will shamefully admit that I cried like a baby when I had to get skin tested last year.  I just hate needles so much: scarred for life.

 

I kind of felt the same way reading the Kane Chronicles.  I mean I only read the first one, but it was all about like Egyptian gods and stuff.  It wasn't like I believed in them or anything; not more than fictional characters.  I never really thought of HP like that.  Like witchcraft or anything.

 

My film never worked out.  I spent hours just trying to get the file to save, but every time I tried the stupid Windows Movie Maker would stop responding.  I must've tried like 20 times.  It wasn't for school though, just some contest.  In the end I just submitted my script as an essay so I could at least get a participation certificate to put in my book of volunteering and stuff.   

 

You should try to get the book fixed!  Call around and coordinate and stuff.

 

~Aurora

 

 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Yes!  It went through this time! ;)

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Posts not going through has been happening to a lot of us. I don't think it has anything to do with content since it is always the longer posts. I've been trying to save them just in case, but sometimes I forget. OF COURSE the ones I forget to save are the ones that don't go through. I was away all day and just got back. I'll write more later.

 

George

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

I know its technically "your turn", but I had to share!  I just got 99% on my spelling test!!!!  So excited because I have working on this list all year.  It has 75 of the most commonly misspelled words, but it really is only 70 unique words because of repeats.  The only word I got wrong was "preceding" because I always spell it with two e's because of the word "proceed".  Hopefully tomorrow I get that one correct, and then it will be 100%!!!

 

~Aurora

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

That's terrific. I will write later when I have time!

 

George

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hi Aurora.

 

First, a way to remember how to spell preceding is "a pro goes forward remembering the prepre that came before." Something like that based on the definition that you use for proceed. I was also thinking something like, "A pro remembers that prepre came first." There is no prefix at all that is pree. I use those kinds of things or a silly sentence to help me remember stuff.

 

Yes, I had to do those sleep tests with a million wires. The main thing that my mom was worried about was leaving me alone in the hospital overnight because I'd never had to do that before and I was 11. The sleep lab said they would have two females working with me (they work in pairs) and that everything would be videorecorded. She asked if I wanted to do it and it seemed kind of like an adventure to me, so I said yes. They put this cold gel stuff on your head to attach the wires. Also a few on your chest and ankles. The ankles to see if you have restless leg syndrome. Then the box that all of the wires are attached to is put over your neck. If I had to go to the bathroom I had to ring for one of them so they could help me so I wouldn't detach me and so they could check and make sure everything was in place before I went back to sleep. I had to wear a pulse ox and whenever it got crooked or I slept on it, it would ring loud and that was annoying. I thought I would be up late, not being used to it, but I was asleep by 11pm11pm and I only got up once. I didn't have any obstruction, but they did find out I had 0% REM. 

 

The doctor wanted the test repeated when I was 1313 to see if anything had changed based on the behavior changes that were made and a couple medsmeds he had put me on, so I did the whole thing again and came up with the same exact results, so nothing made any difference. I wake up tired, too, because he said that if I never get any REM sleep, then I'm not able to get to a deep enough sleep to get rest. Apparently there is no fix for that yet. That is SUCH a bummer! I can totally understand why your mom wouldn't have let you do the sleep study when you were THAT young, though. That WOULD have been pretty horrible!

 

Yeah, I had sore throats every single day when I was younger and my tonsils were huge. My mom took me to the doctor once and he asked me if I had sore throats a lot and my mom jumped in and said no. I looked at her as if she were nuts! He asked if I had to drink a lot and again she jumped in and said no. The doctor had said that if I were having any of those problems he would remove my tonsils, but since I wasn't, he would leave them alone even though they were inflamed. My mom told me after we left that we didn't have any insurance for that type of surgery. I eventually grew out of it. IDKIDK if it obstructed my sleep or not, but I had throat pain all of the time.

 

Yeah, I can totally see what you are saying about why not go ahead and get your tonsils out when you were having surgery anyway. That seems to make sense to me, too. 

 

I went to PT and they decided not to discharge me right away. I have apptsappts for next week now. The good thing was that I didn't get shin splints. I had been getting them before PT. Brittany told me not to walk more than 3x's3x's around for now. I told her that I thought the one exercise that she changed was part of the problem. The day before I went 4x's4x's around she went from me doing lunges on an 8" box to doing them on the floor. I told her at the time it was hurting my hip, but she had me keep going and iced me afterwardsafterwards. So now I'm doing them on a 4" box. It will still provide more strength, but it's a step-down that isn't as drastic. I'm glad she listened to me. I'm going to walk outside in about an hour.

 

I'm glad your film wasn't for school, but I can still imagine your frustration. What do you do when you are frustrated? Every great once in a while I will throw something, but something harmless. I have a plastic water bottle that I throw at the sink from all the way across the room. I throw it really hard until it stays in the sink. I feel a little better afterwardsafterwards unless it gets into the sink on the first throw! =)

 

I went into the church this morning to talk to Gail. She is in charge of a lot of things, but one thing is the shut-ins. We have about 6060 shut-ins at our church. We have a visitation pastor who visits shut-ins, the sick, and those who just lost a loved one. Gail helps with all of that. She also sends out birthday cards to the shut-ins, but they are preprinted. She sends out get well and sympathy cards. I will be sending out "thinking of you" cards. She said she thought it would be hard for me to do that on a fairly regular basis because she would want to write things like, "How has your week been? How are your children? Did you have a nice Christmas?" Of course the shut-ins aren't going to write back. Will it be difficult for me to be able to write to people who won't write back? I said, "No, I've done that a lot."

 

I send emails to Pastor Cathy a lot and she doesn't respond most of the time, but I know she is praying. There have been a few others like that in my life in the past who I wrote to or emailed. One person never acknowledged even once that I had been writing all of these really personal and deep letters to her, but when I asked her to go to a spiritual therapist with me to be my prayer person since I was going to talk about the things I'd written to her, she didn't hesitate to say yes. She told me she had been praying for me ever since I wrote the first letter, she just didn't know how to respond. I can write as often as I want, but she hopes that I can at least write 30 cards a month so that everyone will get a card every other month. I will check in with her at the beginning of every month. She said that sometimes someone will call her to show appreciation for the card and when that happens she will let me know. 

 

I guess that's it for now. I feel like maybe I've written a book. Sorry. George =)

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

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epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Hello!

 

Thank you for the help with spelling!  I am going to retest after lunch.  

 

Yuck, I hate medical stuff.  I find it pretty sick (sorry, I couldn't think of a better word!).  You know, hooking up little kids to all of these wires and shots and exams.  Honestly if it were up to me, most of it would be done with scanners like in the airports.  I mean, you're telling me that the TSA guy can just use a scanner, but I still have to deal with a million stupid things at the doctor's office?  I know it doesn't work that way, but sometimes I wish it did.  On one hand, I kinda want to design better medical equipment from all this inspiration, but on the other I really hate medical stuff (as previously stated).

 

One of my doctors was convinced I didn't get any REM.  She kept going on about how I didn't seem to be dreaming, which meant I wasn't getting any rest.  The whole dream thing has gotten better now, so hopefully REM is also working better.  I personally think all the drugs were messing with my sleep (on top of my the fact that I never was good at the sleep thing).  Drugs tend to do opposite of what they're supposed to with me--again the doctor was so helpful.  She essentially said it was because I was mental.  Why thanks.  Like, if I take some sleep meds, I'll never sleep.  

 

Oh my gosh, yes.  I hate sore throats, but I get them all the time.  I totally understand what it's like when your parent answers for you at the doctor's.  (insurace issue or not)  That's one of of the reasons why I don't like going with my Dad.  He's only gone like twice.  I mean, I never tell him about my headaches or sleeping or breathing or anything, but he always tries to answer all the questions like I'm not even there.  Like I'm a baby or something.  Then he looks at me as if I'm the crazy one when I answer a question truthfully.  For example: my mom insisted that he came to some stupid breathing tests I had to take.  (read: they stick you in a see-through box and stare at you while you try--and fail--to breathe.  FUN!)  

 

During the whole Q&A thing they asked if I had trouble falling asleep at night.  Now, we were at a lung doctor, so they were obviously asking if I couldn't breathe at night.  Plus they were itching to get me in a sleep study which I did not want to do.  And I honestly had gotten way better; I started doing these breathing exercises and stuff.  So I said no, I am falling asleep fine lately.  Then he jumped in and corrected me saying "She never sleeps!  It takes her hours before she falls asleep, and then she keeps waking up!!!"  And the great part is that he is only actually sees me sleeping like once a year and at like 3 AM.  Or when we are on vacation, and I never sleep good on vacation anyway.  It's not because of health, I just get nervous.

 

I'm sorry; that was such a huge rant.  *sigh*

 

I'm glad that you are getting better!  I mean, it kinda stinks that you still have to go to PT, but at least its better!

 

Those shut-in cards sound like a great idea!  Everyone loves getting mail, they might just not admit it.

 

I need to go eat lunch, I have seriously been typing this for half an hour; I'm such a procrastinator...:P

 

~Aurora

 

 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hi, I'm sorry that I just now saw this. I have to get ready for an appointment and I have another one this afternoon, but I promise I will respond today. I don't mind rants. I do them too from time to time.

 

George =)

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Aurora,

 

I started to get back to this, then something happened. IDK what anymore. Sorry, though. You haven't been on since you wrote this, so I guess it's okay. 

 

How did you do with your spelling test?

 

I never thought about how the TSA people can see so much so that people don't want to go into the scanners, yet the doctors have to have x-rays, MRIs, CAT scans and so many other things and a lot of times they still don't know what is going on or how to deal with it. It's really sad.

 

Yes, before I had my first sleep study the doctor said it was all psychological. My mom took me to another doctor. I'm on a lot of meds, too, and meds tend to work the opposite on me, too! That is so weird! Like, benadryl doesn't make me sleepy and NyQuil keeps me awake. Those are simple examples. My meds could be interfering with my REM, but I've had sleep issues forever, before I was on meds, so I don't know. Apparently there is no "fix" for no REM cycle? Is anybody even studying this? I'm pretty much tired all of the time. I just do the best I can.

 

I can't imagine how bad it must be to have breathing problems and to have to take all of those tests and everything. And I'm certain it must be really annoying for your dad to speak up for you when he doesn't really know what is going on with you. The only thing I know about breathing problems is from Dom's family. Everyone in his family has asthma. He and his dad are on inhalers and allergy meds. His mom has an inhaler, nebulizer, and a C-PAP machine for at night. She spends a lot of time in the hospital for her asthma, too. Dom's little sister Kim is about as bad as her mom. Whenever she gets a fever at a certain temp, they have to give her a high dose of med right away and call the doctor and do a nebulizer treatment even if she's breathing okay because she goes into fever seizures and then her lungs seize up, too, or something, because her asthma is so bad. It can even happen if they give her the medicine and treatment, then they have to call the ambulance. I'm glad that I at least don't have to go through that. It must be really scary not to be able to breathe right.

 

I didn't get to walk this weekend like I wanted to, but on Thursday 2/5 I had a REALLY hard PT! The PTs work in pairs and Brittany is easy on me and only does half of the stuff. Candy is hard on me and does everything and makes it harder each time. My 87yo neighbor, Betty, usually takes me since mom works, so she stays in the waiting room and doesn't know what's going on. I'm going to tell Brittany that I want to get better and out of there, so do everything like Candy does, please. I walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes on an incline and fast pace and everything, plus the weight machines and exercises. Then I walked four blocks to meet Patty for lunch (even though Betty could have driven me or Patty could have picked me up) and then she brought me home. I only had to have ice that day, so it was a good day. I'm getting better! Yay!

 

I'm going to go and get off of the computer pretty soon. I've been on here for a few hours. I need to do some school stuff today and I want to do some of those shut-in cards. If the weekend on the MB hadn't been a mess and I hadn't gotten sick yesterday, I would have done a bunch by now, I'm sure. So, I have stuff to do.

 

Hope you are well, George =)

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

George,

 

I am so glad that you replied!  I haven't really been active on the whole MB since I re-joined.  I mean, life is just busy and stuff, and I don't want to get super involved in something else; don't want to let anyone down.

 

The spelling test is going good.  I spelled preceding correctly, but now I messed up on supersede which I used to have correct.  It's always something!  Hopefully I will do better tomorrow.

 

I don't think there is a cure for no REM.  Maybe you could try "dreaming" before you fall asleep?  I used to "assign" a dream to each night: "Tonight you are picking flowers in a field of butterflies" or whatever.  I don't know if that will help, but perhaps its worth a shot?

 

A couple days my little sister didn't want to sleep, or the next night, then the next day ) she had some stomache bug thing, and then the next day (yesterday) I got a sore throat so I woke up twice in the middle of the night, and today I'm still sick.  Sleep sounds so good right now!

 

Good job at PT!  It's always good to tell them what you want to do; sometimes doctors just don't know.  Your walking sounds a lot better as well.

 

I totally am not trying to offend, but here are my thoughts on asthma:

 

There are two types in my mind: the kind for overprotective parents and the real kind.  Overprotective Asthma makes up about 85% of the asthma world.  The doting mothers whose children have every single possible thing wrong with them.  You know what I'm talking about.  The kids who use a gallon of Purell a day, don't eat processed wheat, etc.  That kind of asthma is usually diagnosed during a cold because no one breathes right when they're sick anyway.  Then those kids breathe perfectly fine for most of their lives and don't walk up stairs like they're going to die.  Every once in a while they get an "asthma attack" and the hover parent makes a big deal out of Nebs Nebs them, ambulance call, etc.

 

Then there are the real asthmatics who should have their own disease name.  (Or people like me who have just been stuck under the title of an easily-diagnosed childhood illness)  I seriously don't even really like mentioning asthma because it is just such a common diagnostic.  I legit don't even know what an "asthma attack" is because any kind of "exertion" at all causes all the symptoms.  Pale face, check.  Chest tightness or pressure, check.  Difficulty breathing, check, check, check.

 

When I was on a 2-week vacation thing there were maybe a dozen teens.  And half of them had "asthma".  But I was the only one who ever took the elevator up.  The only one who didn't like going out to the basketball court.  I only ever saw one of them use an inhaler.    

 

I had a realization moment the other day.  I feel so much better when I talk to you, but I mostly talk about being sick.  Which is obviously what makes me feel better: talking about it.  But it also probably makes it sound like I am a Sick Person.  Who only ever talks about being sick.  So I am going to make an effort to stop that as much. ;)

 

~Aurora

 

 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hi. I'm so glad you responded. I will respond tomorrow, proabably. Don't ever worry about talking about being sick. It doesn't bother me in the least. Talk about whatever you want to talk about!

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hi Aurora!

 

I took my meds late and I can't sleep. After I write to you I'm going to get off of the computer and go read and fall asleep. 

 

So, how many times can you take these tests over? In real school and cyberschool I can't do that. So, I'm just wondering. I hope you finally get them all correct the next time!

 

I don't think there is a cure for REM either. Well, I do "dream" before I fall asleep. Remember how I said that if I'm reading and I nod off I have this dream-like state in which I can tell that what is going on in my head is not the same as what I was reading? Or sometimes I just nod off and I'm sort of dreaming and I realize that what is going on in my head is kind of weird since I'm sort of awake, so I wake up? Yeah, that is about as "dreamy" as I get.

 

Doesn't it stink being sick? I woke up in the middle of the night Sunday and was sick, so I had to miss church, which upset me. I was supposed to be the junior greeter and everything. I slept in today until at least noon and thought I was better, but i got a bit sick again. I think I'm fine now. Oh - a yawn! Yay! I'm sorry that you and your sister are sick. That is no fun!

 

Regarding asthma. I think Dom had it when he was little, but mostly grew out of it as he got older and just needed allergy pills. He never even got his inhaler refilled for the longest time, so you are right that he didn't need it. Nobody made a big deal out of it and it was mostly listed as history for him. His dad, I hate to day, is a bit of a hypochondriac. He makes a big deal out of everything. It's hard to tell if he really is sick or not. If he has a headache too long he wants to call the ambulance. It would be kind of embarrassing to be with them and he would do that. Them being disabled, it's not like they had transportation. If mom just dropped me off for a visit and they couldn't get a ride, then that's what they did, just called for an ambulance. Mike would be in the ER by himself and my mom or someone would have to bring him home and he'd just have to take tylenol or something. The doctors knew him (the family, really) very well.

 

Kim, she had serious issues. The fever seizures started when she was a baby. They were no joke and the doctor told them to call them no matter what time it was if Kim's temperature reached a certain degree, so that was for real. And these kids, they lived in the projects, played outside, wore clothes from the thrift store or neighbor's hand-me-downs, played outside, they didn't have the best of anything, so there was none of that or helicopter mom stuff going on. It would be icky because they didn't usually even have soap and a towel to wash your hands at all! Mom made ME carry purell. They just didn't have the money or thought to deal with that stuff. No special foods at all. And Marlen, the mom, she was totally for real. The hospital would keep her for up to a week at a time because they couldn't get her asthma under control. And she was in a motorized wheelchair, so she wasn't exerting herself!  I just feel really badly for people who have to deal with that stuff. That family sure had its share of troubles.

 

Like I said before, you can talk about whatever you want to talk about. I don't know what your place is like. We live in a small apartment. we have this big wooden DVD cabinet. We keep all of my diabetic supplies and medicines inside of it. It keeps everything nice and neat and organized, yet out of site. I have a plastic container of the things I use on a daily basis. I usually call in my own scripts and stuff and let my mom know when they have to be picked up. It's a fine line between me being independent and her knowing everything that's going on. She's really good about everything. I've had to be independent a lot since leaving school, so we've just got into this comfort zone kind of thing. I like it. My mom is really cool.

 

I'm going to read more of The Lightning Thief. I'll probably be asleep before I'm finished with the chapter. It's almost 1am. At the rate I've been reading lately, I'll have to renew ALL of the books I have out of the library! Marie Lu, The Young Elites. MPH, Revealed from The Missing Series. Remarkable by Lizzie K. Foley. Kingdom's Hope, the 2nd book in the Kingdom series by Chuck Black. I have a Christian book called The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. I also have two devotional books, my CCYM Bible study book and my SS book. That is a lot of reading! And I'm so far behind! How much reading do you do each week? I actually used to read more than this. I can't wait for summer to get here!

 

Goodnight. George =)

 

 

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

I woke up late today then read, showered, etc. and didn't even go downstairs until 11.  Yeesh!  Then because I feel awful I just lounged around for an hour.  Smart waste of time, right?  So now I am loaded with stuff to do; including school work.  Yuck.  I'll reply later.

 

~Aurora   

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Hello!

 

The spelling tests are on an online computer program.  It has all different kinds of activities that you do to learn the words and then a test feature.  When I started school this year (admittedly not until October) I created 3 lists of 25 words each.  The words were the most commonly misspelled words.  So now I have been just re-testing over and over again to remember all the words.

 

I hope you are feeling better!  It's sad that you had to miss being a junior greeter.

 

I think that it's really interesting to hear about other people's lives.  Just the diversity and everything is amazing.

 

That's a lot of books!  I like to get books off of my library's elibrary and they always seem to come in at the same time!  Then I have like 10 books to read in 2 weeks before they expire!  (Slight exaggeration ;) )  Unfortunately Wonder expired 2 days ago, so I have to re-check it out.  I had already finished, but there was Julian's story at the end.  I don't think it was "part" of the book, but nontheless.  I usually read forever at night.  Night is usually the only time I actually take to do whatever I want (read, watch videos, etc.).  So I like to relax from around 8 or 9 until I go to bed at 12-ish.  Doing the math last night I realized that I actually do spend more time relaxing/sleeping than I do being "productive" (about 14 hours:10 hours) so I guess that's a good sign?

 

This week started out with a sore throat, then moved to more of a stuffy nose thing + a scratchy throat.  I kind of freaked out a bit yesterday (more in the tired "You've got to be kidding me way") because I thought I had Sinusitis again.  I mean, I definitely had some kind of sinus infection, but luckily today its a bunch better.  Sinusitis is a nightmare because it never goes away.  It really can't because there is not really a way to medicate it.  The acute version lasts 4-30 days and then after that they call it subacute (4-12 weeks).  If you happen to be a super-duper lucky human being they call it Chronic and that lasts for any time longer than 12 weeks.  Yuck!  I've got my fingers crossed that this is over before by Friday!

 

Gotta go.  I had to do some paperwork thing this morning, so now I'm behind on my schoolwork.  And by behind I mean that I really havn't done anything yet ;).

 

~Aurora

 

P.S Some words are getting randomly repeated?  I think its an MB glitch because its happening to other posts, too.

 

 

 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

It's been 2 days, but so much has happened.  *Sigh* I'm going to have to talk to you, but I don't know what to say right now.  I'll try again later.

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hey Aurora,

 

I'm sorry. I was still sick and trying to catch up with school work and being on the computer too much with other stuff, including here. I haven't written on any of my chat threads and was realizing that I'll have to do something about that when I went to bed last night. I am mostly feeling better. It's supposed to be about -17 degrees Sunday morning, going up to about -5 degrees, but I want to go to church since I missed last Sun and also Wed. Unless they cancel church. I hope you are okay. Your message was a bit worrisome.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Well, I wrote that Friday night, then I got sleepy around 9:30pm, which is early for me, so I went to bed and read and fell asleep around 11pm. I still slept in until 10:30am. That is almost 12 whole hours of sleep! WOWsers!

 

The MB has been very slow, so I guess after I write this, I'll get off of the computer. I have the Divergent and TFIOS movies from the library to watch. I will try to write some cards to shut-ins while I watch them. I want to watch THG movie again. I have had Catching Fire for a really long time, but I've never watched it. I should watch it.

 

I got the braille card in the mail. It's on the floor beside my extremely cluttered desk so I don't lose it! =)

 

Well, you had better NOT sinusitis beyond four days!!! You aren't allowed! Seriously, you aren't allowed!

 

Write back. I hope you are okay!!! George =)

 

 

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Hi George,

 

That sounds super cold!  It was in the 60's this morning and we were all bundled up.  XD

 

*WARNING THE REST IS A MESS.  DON'T NEED TO READ*

 

Okay, so.  Okay.  I'm definitely tongue-tied right now.  I mean, I want to say one thing, but then brain says that doesn't sound right?  I don't know.  It's just.  I want to be honest?  But not mean.  Or offensive?  There's just so much I need to say.  

 

Well one thing is, I was upset?  No.  Just I was just....upset.  When you pulled that whole thing about leaving.  I mean, I haven't been following the MB only because I don't want to get involved with any catty-ness.  You know?  I have to deal with that in real life and I just wanted to be open on here.  No "he said, she said".  So all that I saw was that post by you where you said you were leaving.  And then I posted this whole thing, but then you weren't leaving.  And I don't know.  It just felt like you were doing that whole "I need to be validated" thing.  Where you make people beg you to stay.  And I'm sure that wasn't what you really happened; I mean you were obviously upset over whatever.  It's just.  Just.  I don't want to make you feel bad.  Its my fault for getting involved in something that wasn't my battle.  

 

I just needed to tell you.  Because in real life I never would have.  I go day-by-day never "explaining myself".  I don't feel right about it.  I don't know.  What I mean about explaining myself is like this: I have been going to the same youth group for over 2 years.  Same people.  And not a single one of them knows that I am anything less than perfectly healthy.  No one there knows that I can't climb stairs.  No one knows that 95% of the time I am in the middle of a migraine.  I was on a super strict diet and brought cashews for supper.  I never told anyone why.  And I hate that.  I hate that I can't find it in me to say "I'm on a medical diet and am eating cashews instead of your pizza".  I hate that when they ask if anyone has prayer intentions I never say anyting.  I just hate it.  I never say anything.  And I want to.  I've imagined dozens and dozens of times just saying something.  Anything.  I just lay at night imagining talking to our leader and asking him to pray for me.  And I never do.  When they say "what did you do this week?" I've never answered "I just came back from the lung doctor".  So don't you see?  Why I had to tell you?  Because I am always open with you on here.  And I need that. 

 

*sigh* This all is just a mess.  "This all" is my brain for the record.  Please don't worry about anything I just said.  I've looked it over, but I'm not sure any of it makes sense to me.  I'm just going to continue on like I didn't say any of that.

 

That sleep sounds relaxing!  I slept a lot this week.  I'm still sick and stuff (getting better) so I don't want to do anything in the morning.  The thing is, when most people get "sick" (infection, flu, cold, etc.) they lie around all day and do nothing.  But I can't do that all my life.  So I just get up and go with what I've got today.  Nights and mornings are my "lie around" time.  That's one of the reasons why I "wake up" so late.  To regroup and just be.  But then sometimes people (my family) don't understand that I am still sick. Because I don't act any different (except for coughing, etc).  

 

I don't know why I'm saying all this.  I'm sorry that you have to read through all of it.  It's just, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS because I don't tell them.  And your the only one.  So know I have all this bottled up I want to say about it and you're the one who has to deal with it.  I don't know why I don't just talk like this to everyone.  The best explanation I've ever found was in TFIOS when Hazel just learned about Gus' cancer.  He's talking about the museum and how there are no pictures of people dying of illnesses and then he says "There's no glory in illness" (or something similar).  That's pretty close to explanation.  There's no glory there's no reason for me to tell anyone.  Why bug other people?  There's no point.  And I don't want people to act differently around me.  Even if they say they won't: it's the little things.  Like, I help out blind kids.  So I'm pretty cool with hanging out with a blind kid.  But that doesn't mean I don't act differently.  I might not talk down to them, but I alter explanations sometimes.  I have to guide them around.  Stuff like that.  

 

Ugh.  I've just littered the whole thing.  I don't want to delete it, but I'm going to add to the top that you don't need to read it.

 

~Aurora  

 

 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hi Aurora,

 

You can always be honest with me about stuff to do with me or stuff to do with you. I don't have a problem with either. I like honest.

 

I am sorry about the whole thing about my leaving. I have never been about jumping on the band wagon about anything whether it's "What do I look like?" or "Shout out to my friends" or anything else. I do not do things on here for attention or anything like that. I barely ever even make threads. I've always said that if I leave, it's going to be quietly except for those who are important to me. So, I would come to those in my chat rooms and tell you that I'll only be on during weekends or something. I'd only come on for you guys. That is what I did for those in my six person chatroom from Sept to mid-Dec because other friends were leaving and things were changing and I just needed to focus on school.

 

What I did was a total reactionary thing that I did before I could even think about it and because I was mad at a mod for calling me out on something where I felt I handled it more positively than she inferred and mods just don't do those things. I've had issues with kids before and dealt with them one way or another, but with a mod, jeez! It ended up that I was right, but my post was never deleted nor was hers. The other thing is, she WAS my favorite mod, so that made it hurt even worse. She locked the thread pretty quickly after the true situation was revealed, so nothing more could be said.  

 

I had a friend say she was going to leave after other of my friends had left and I didn't handle it well and I didn't understand since she didn't really seem to have a reason. She was about my only real friend left at the time and we were really close. So, I understand how you felt when you saw the thread. I get why you might have thought why I might have been doing it for attention. I understand why you aren't about the he said/she said and I didn't figure you would be looking into things because I already know you aren't like that. I do apologize, though, and you can be certain that it won't happen again no matter what. I already made that promise on the "I'm leaving" post when I said I wasn't leaving. I actually wish that my thread could have been locked after I said I wasn't leaving and I'd never do that again because I DIDN'T need the validation. Also, people would come on and not read the post above them where someone would say, "I'm glad you are staying," and be upset that I was leaving. So, I had to post several times that I wasn't leaving. Don't be upset for expressing your feelings, either. I'm glad that you did.

 

NOW, ABOUT YOU! I'm pretty sure I've said this before and I TOTALLY mean it! You can write to me and tell me anything you want and I'm totally, perfectly fine with it. The friend who was going to leave, we did that for one another and she was going to leave and not tell me a good reason and leave me with nobody. She is still here. I have chats with others on here and I tell everyone, please be real with me as much as you feel comfortable, because I'm okay with it. We all need each other. Especially if we don't have others at home. There are those of us who don't on here who don't have others at home, which is why we are here. I don't have any kids at home and it sounds like you don't either. My friend didn't, but she now has lots of friends on here again.

 

I kind of get what you are saying about not wanting to share what is really going on in your life with others. Some people don't mind special treatment. Michael and Marlen for example. Marlen always loved attention and special treatment. Michael, other than being a hypochondriac, hated attention and special treatment REGARDING BEING BLIND. It was why he never used a cane to walk around town. It's why he handled his own cash, paid his own bills, cooked and cleaned their apartment. You don't want the teens to treat you differently, but you also don't want them to think of you differently. You don't want them to see you as some invalid. You want it to say "all in the family" so to speak. I don't blame you.

 

I kind of feel the same way about the bullying. The only person in my church who knows about me being bullied is the new Pastor, and she is bound by confidentiality. I would trust her anyway. The LAST thing I want is the teens to know about me being bullied throughout 7th grade. The only reason they might not know is because I didn't return to 8th and I'm not in high school. It worries me that someone does know and might quietly be spreading rumors. Is that why these teens are still not talking to me or are they just rude or what?

 

Have you known your youth leader for all of these two years? Do you feel like you could trust him? Maybe pray about it. Pray and decide how much you want to tell him. Pray as long as you need to about what to do about this and take your time. There is no rush.  If you feel led after praying for a time, go up to him before or after youth group and ask to talk to him privately just for a minute. That way you won't be overheard. Tell him that you would like to talk to him and when would you be able to do that? Start by making sure that everything you tell him is confidential (it would have to be) and make him agree not to treat you any differently from how he already does. It's okay to need an outlet besides your family. Someone who will pray with and/or for you. Someone who works with teens. It's one of the reasons why he is there. It seems to me that you do want to share, but not with the kids, which I understand. If your family has a hard time realizing that you really are sick because they see you all of the time and since you try not to act sick all of the time, then it does sound like you might need someone to be able to confide in every once in a while. It seems as if the youth pastor is a reasonable place to begin.

 

You didn't litter anything and I'm really glad that you didn't delete this. There was no reason to. I'm glad to be able to be here for you and to listen to you. I wish things were different or better for you. It seems you are handling things as well as you are able to. Please keep writing and let me know how things go.

 

George =)

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Hey George,

 

You are seriously amazing.  I mean, that was really good.  Thank you. 

 

So I want to make this post a little bit more coherent than my last one, and then merge back to not talking about me.  :)  I really, really appreciate your help though.  It helped so much.

 

I actually have plenty of people at home.  I have three siblings (two are younger) and live with both my parents.  The thing is, I've been pretty stressed lately because...  Well something happened and my mom can't be home a lot.  She used to "run the show".  And my dad isn't really...a good dad.  I mean he's a great person.  He just doesn't know how to be a dad exactly.  Which sounds weird because I've lived with him my whole life and I'm teenager (he's had all these years to learn?).  But my mom always did the parent-y, housekeeping stuff.  And he just acts like a little kid all the time.  Like when I make dinner and ask him to put the leftovers away he just makes some stupid excuse "Oh, I've gotta go...send an email." and then I have to do it.  He never takes out the garbage, pick up after himself, etc.  This month should be a lot better though, because mom helped me assign everyone a meal (lunch/dinner) in a rotation.  We already had a meal "plan" on the fridge, but now I won't have to be responsible for making everything.  We also have all the kids do one day of dishes each week day (someone has to do it twice each week).  Everyone just assumes that I should just do everything and this will divide responsibility better.

 

I don't know how I feel about getting attention for being sick, exactly.  I actually just wish my illness was visual.  Like how you never to say that you broke your leg, people can just see it?  Except for I don't want a broken leg.  If that makes sense?  I wish that when I first met everyone they knew that I was sick;if it was just a fact about me that you learn right away.  I don't want to make a big deal about it.  I understand what you are saying about telling the leader guy, but then I think that sounds to dramatic for me.  I have decided that I will just be less...secretive?  Try to not purposefully avoid doing something like opening a container of glucose at the table.  Or coughing.  This week I realized that I (not on purpose) don't cough as much while around people.  Then when I get in my car I start coughing a ton.  I must be unconsciously doing that because I don't like drawing attention to myself like that.  Interesting, right?

 

I don't know how things are near you, and I certainly don't want to come across as harsh, but I think that you're overthinking the bullying thing.  You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but why were you bullied?  I can't really understand why you being a bullying victim in the past would cause people to bully you again.  I also don't understand bullying in the first place, though, so take that with a grain of salt.  The best advice I can give you is to be, or at least appear to be, confident.  Hold your head high, smile, and make eye contact.  People take you so much more seriously that way.  I've faked my way through a million conversations without being doubted once!  

 

I have to go eat dinner now.  Talk later!

Aurora

 

P.S I have to say thanks x 1,000,000 again because I seriously feel super like, light? now.  So much better.  Thanks.  :) 

 

   

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Oh my gosh!  My name went through!  Let's try again, but with the tilde.

 

~Aurora

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hey Aurora!

 

I'm tired again, but I will write to you Monday or Tuesday sometime. I will tell you about the bullying and why I am paranoid about it.

 

You have some good insight about yourself and your situation. I'm glad your mom has helped to relieve you of many of the duties since the whole family should pitch in during such times!

 

George =)

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#Christian

 

            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

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epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

Hey George,

 

I look forward to hearing from you.  :)  I guess I just felt the need to post something.  I've had a pretty terrible and stressful day and this sounded like a good idea.  But now schoolwork is beckoning and so is violin practice.  (I have solo coming up!)  

 

Talk later!

~Aurora

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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shyrainbow5

aka SapphireLadybug7

Branch: Lucian

Hey Aurora.

 

Today just got away from me. A couple of different things came up. I wanted to be sure to get back to you today like I'd said, though. How are you feeling? Any better? My bp yesterday was 88/52, so I have to see my regular doctor in the morning. I talked to my diabetic nutritionist monday afternoon after I sent her my weekly food journal. I have to eat less carbs and more protein because the carbs make me want to eat more carbs at night and I go over what I'm supposed to eat for the day. Too much protein isn't good for my kidneys, though. So, I have to talk to my regular doctor about that tomorrow, too. I've already been working on eating more veggies and fruits. I like fruits, but they are expensive here this time of year, so I have to eat the lite canned a lot. I'm not sure what your diet is like, but do you have ideas for protein? I guess the salt/sodium content probably won't matter so much now that my bp problem has gotten worse, so I got a bag of pumpkin seeds. Sometimes we get nuts, but they can be expensive, too. We get sunflower seeds. We mis salted with unsalted. There are the healthy meats and I like sardines, but I don't like to eat all of the meats without crackers or bread. Like sardines and tuna fish especially. Sometimes I can have my mom's leftovers, but if I can't, I'm not huge on cooking. I just need variety so I don't get bored. Sometimes I add lentils and black beans or whatever to processed soup and divide it in half - therefore half of the sodium for the day and more protein. I REALLY have to get back to eating healthier!

 

So, we moved here before 7th grade started. We take the bus to school - middle and high school together. I honestly think I was just targeted for bullying because I was new because I didn't look or act much different from anyone else. I didn't dress much different. I didn't even get to act shy yet. It wasn't a major incident, though, so I didn't think much of it. By the end of the week, though, kids were tripping me, walking up behind me and hitting me in the head or pulling my hair, leaning in and whispering nasty names to me. By week two I wasn't allowed to sit down on the bus. Our bus WAS crowded, but there were enough seats for everyone, plus it's illegal for anyone to stand up while a school bus is in motion. The bus driver never did anything all year long. Things just progressed and that made more people join in, probably due to peer pressure. I finally went and told a teacher and she said, "What do you want me to do about it?" I simply said, "Protect me." She said, "Yeah right." After a while I went to the principal. He asked if I'd gone to any of the teachers, so I told him about the one teacher. He said that I need to go to a teacher as soon as something happens and tell the teacher, otherwise they can't do anything. I did this and the teacher would always go back and ask the kids friends if they did such and such and they would say no, I'm lying. I went through this with the school counselor. Same deal. I finally told my mom. She did everything in her power to get the teachers and authorities to stop the bullying, but it's like nobody had ears or a heart or something. 

 

I didn't tell my mom about standing on the bus cuz I knew I'd not have another way to and from school. My brother was two years older than me and always acted like he didn't know me. Our school district is so notorious for rampant bullying and not doing anything about it that there has been a parents' group working against this thing for a few years, so they tried to help my mom and me, to no avail. The school board has 9 lawsuits against them right now and they are using taxpayer money to fight the lawsuits. At least six of them are regarding bullying situations. 

 

So, near the last day of school, I was standing up on the bus as usual. A high school kid came up behind me and kicked me in the back as heard as he could with work boots on. I flew to the front of the bus and smashed my head on metal and glass. Blood was running down my face and everywhere. The bus driver didn't even look over at me. My own brother didn't help me until we got off of the bus. When my mom saw me, she took me to the ER. I had a bad concussion. I didn't return to school. I had a lot of migraines that summer. I had tons of anger inside. I was just falling apart and finally I went to see a therapist even though I didn't want to. My mom signed me up for cyberschool. I didn't care about school because I was so messed up and hurting, so I ended up flunking eighth grade. So, I'm doing it all over again this year.

 

I just don't trust the kids in this area and I know part of me is being paranoid, but the bullying was so bad that I don't know how to put it behind me. I don't know what to do if I should happen to see one of the kids who bullied me in church or something (as opposed to a store where we can ignore one another). So, yeah. that is pretty much the story. I left my old church because the kids in my CCYM knew about everything and were NOT nice, so I quit church. I started to go to another church. The kids there just sort of ignore me. I don't know what they do or don't know, but it worries me from time to time.

 

George

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            T39C  

are awesomesauce,

with coolsyrup,

epicsprinkles,

wonderwhip,            ●~

and an amazecherry on top!

                    ¯\_(ツ)_

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emeraldocean16

aka BreakingArt5

Branch: Ekaterina

George--

 

I really want to write some intelligent, well-thought-out response (which we both know probably isn't going to happen), but I don't have enough time right now.  I am technically doing Math right now, but I was itching to respond to you.  

 

Talk later,

Aurora

 

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"I'm not asking for a million years or never or forever.  I'm asking for one day only.  Today." ~Irina

 

 

"Be happy with what you have while working for what you want" ~Helen Keller

 

 

Aurora

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