I'm sorry it's been so long. I've been thinking about you but for some reason I didn't think you responded/would respond and so I just kept pushing it out of my mind. Seeing all your messages warms my heart but also makes me sad for not looking sooner. I know it's been forever and so much has happened but hopefully you see this, since it hasn't been too long since you lasted posted in this thread.
Gosh, so much has happened here. I feel like graduation was a million years ago, but at the same time summer has gone by so quickly. I've gotten so much done, yet nothing at all. I've been many places, yet still feel like I always end up at home. My emotions have been everywhere--super excited, super depressed, super confused about life in general--all within the span of a single day. I feel like I have so many hopes and aspirations, yet at the same time I feel like I'm just walking aimlessly in circles with no real future. IDK if any of this makes sense, but I just needed to get some of it out.
Please tell me how you've been. Did your sleep study go well? I definitely understand just wanting someone to believe you, to help you. I've been accused so many times--by doctors, friends even--of just being a hypochondriac so I certainly understand this fear and really do hope that your doctor believes you and has been able to give you some relief. I also understand just being so tired constantly. Sometimes I sleep all day and all night, yet the simple thought of getting up to do laundry or clean my room or get out of the house is still too taxing. Hopefully you've gotten some energy back, because it sucks to be a kid but not get to act like one. Honestly I'm living on coffee at this point, which is probably terrible but the only thing keeping me going rn.
Did you get your permit? Have you been able to take a trip to see your grandmother? With your permit does your mother or someone else still need to be in the car with you? Or did you say you were getting your license...sorry I can't go back and read your message again while replying.
How is church going? Your mission work? Have you made any new friends or joined a new group? Any new hobbies? Are you still helping out at the library? Sorry I forget and I feel bad about it
I've been getting sicker which really sucks because it makes me feel so helpless. I want to have some kind of hope it's going to get better but hope is so dangerous because it just hurts me more when nothing ever works. I've had so many people tell me I'm never going to get better if I don't think I will, but it's not mental yenno? Like I'm physically sick so there's only so much the mentally positive aspect can possibly help. Idk I'm just trying to protect myself as much as possible because being sick is a real emotional rollercoaster, as you must also understnad.
I'm questioning if there's something wrong with my blood sugar?? I notice that if it's been like 2-3 hours since I've eaten I get realllllyyyy really dizzy and bad headache? I don't know if this is something you could give advice on with the diabetes and all. Does that sound like something that's caused by a low blood sugar issue? I feel like I've been to so many doctors that if I actually had diabetes myself someone would've figured that one out already, but couldn't it be hypoglycemia? I've been told I have that, but don't really know what to do with that info.
I'm starting to ramble and not make sense I'm sure--I'm very tired but wanted to make sure you know I've been thinking about you. Sorry once again for not replying for literally months, but I hope you reply soon and we can get back into it. I hate myself for always doing this but our friendship has survived this long and I have faith that it will continue on strongly.