I'm sorry that you are having such a horrible day. I def know how those can be, but it sounds as if you were inundated today. I wish I could do something to help you. One thing I will say is that you are not a horrible person because of how you deal with your sibs. It's not only normal, but you are way nicer than most teens would be with how your sibs acted and treated you today. You are a teen with three sibs, so you are allowed to be frustrated and the hose thing with your little sis was actually funny. Don't stress over such a thing!!!
Money-wise, I totally get it. I don't understand how Patty can continue to buy roast beef and shrimp and other meats (not poultry or fish) since her unemployment ended a while ago and she isn't even looking for a job, yet she complains about money all the time. She also goes out to eat with friends at least once a week, sometimes a bit more. We eat the cheapest healthy food we can find and hardly ever eat out, too. We had to get rid of cable to pay the rent and internet to pay the car repair bill. We just have to learn to do without and it's not always fun. My mom and I shop at thrift stores, too. We don't really have very good thrift stores where we live, but they have very nice thrift stores where my Grandma lives, so we shop up there every so often. Grandma, Mary's family, and Jerry's family do the same and also go to lots of yard sales. Mom is too busy to go to yard sales and I don't like to do that.
That's nice that you will have your mom home for the summer and I'm sure that you do miss her a lot, but it's also bad that it affects the family income. We got the payment plan for fixing our car in the mail today. TOTALLY NOT WHAT WE EXPECTED! We don't even know how it works, so Mom is going to have to call the "bank" tomorrow to find out. It doesn't say anything anywhere whether we have the six month deal for the $450, then do the six month deal again for the $350 OR did they approve both for the 12 month plan? And we don't understand how we're to pay because they sent us a credit card. We want to PAY YOU MONEY, not use a credit card! Is there something about that which you do not understand? If we don't have the whole thing paid off in time, whichever plan we use, then it costs 30% for the whole bill until it's paid off, so we have to be careful about this so we don't end up worse off than we are right now. That is an outrageous amount of interest and it should be outlawed to do that to people in need.
I sent my Grandma a short email yesterday telling her that I really miss her and everyone else and that I can't believe that I have to wait another whole month to see them. She just responded, "Yeah, it is a long time." Here I am half crying and trying not to be jealous and that's all she's got??? Jeez! My birthday is in the month of July, but we won't be able to return for a visit for July or August because my Grandma has a visitor from France for the whole month of July, then she gets a one week break, then has a visitor from Israel for the last three weeks in August. I'll be lucky if I'll be able to get to try out my Grandma's pool while the nieces and nephews will be there practically every day. How am I not supposed to be jealous. The only way we WOULD get to visit in either July or August is if my sis lets Mom and I stay with her a couple of days. They have a spare bedroom that we've used, but we only stayed there twice because of Mary working on her Bachelor's in Nursing. She will be done right before we come to visit at the end of June. It's also her birthday. Usually Mary & her family go away to the beach around then even if for just a few days, so I'll be exceptionally disappointed if I don't get to see them. I wouldn't mind the length in between the visits if the visits weren't always so short. We used to go for four day visits, but we haven't done that since last summer. I can't even go up and just stay with the family for a bit while my mom goes back home so she can work, then have her get me and bring me home. Everybody is just too busy for me to be able to do that. We've done that lots in the past. My mom would drive an hour and one of the adults from there would drive an hour. We'd have lunch together, then I'd go on to my Grandma's while mom went back home to work, then we'd do the same a week later. It's just really hard since I already feel isolated because of not being in school and I missed so much church lately. I sit with this elderly lady, Chris, at the 8:15 service. She was happy to see me and said she was going to call me last week to find out where I was - having missed two Sundays. She forgot but she showed me that she'd already written on the front of her bulletin to call me if I hadn't shown up on Sunday. That made me feel better.
I didn't get to say hello to Pastor Cathy at all. I helped with SS. I was with the first graders. The 4-5yo class is next door and we close the divider after the kids sing. That class has lots of kids, mostly all boys. On Sunday they DID have all boys and there were a lot of kids, so Miss Jen sent two boys over to our class, giving us a total of seven. McKayla and Rachel kept to themselves at one end of the table. Gideon and Ben did the same at their end of the table. Taylor, a girl, was very independent, but wanted to show me everything she did, which I totally get. The two younger boys - I'm not sure if they were brothers or cousins because the man who picked them up looked like he might have been their grandfather. Noah is disabled, though, and Miss Jen said RIGHT IN FRONT OF NOAH that she was sending him to our class (the older kids' class) because he was disabled. In my head I was like, "SHUT UP! How can you even think of saying that in front of this poor child?" I think the assistant was teaching the class and I was assisting her. It's first grade SS with the easiest story/crafts ever, but she didn't seem to know what she was doing, and I thought that was very sad. There was this birthday hat to cut out of a piece of paper because it was Pentecost and the birthday of Christianity. Miss Paula asked me, in front of all of the kids, "Do you think Caleb knows how to cut with scissors?" He is probably at the end of kindergarten, so why wouldn't he? I told her to ask him or just give him the scissors. IDK what is "officially" wrong with Noah, but he doesn't talk (though he's very observant), and may have some cerebral palsy or something that affected his ability to do much and he walked really slowly, but it didn't seem as if his walking was very off, just slow. So, it's hard to tell. Anyway, I went to Noah and he was trying to use both hands to cut with the scissors. I held the paper for him and sort of guided him along to cut ut the hat. It was kind of a hatchet job because I tried to turn the paper the right way as he was cutting, but it was great. Miss Paula picked up the hat and started to trim it "so it would look right." I put my hand on the paper right where she had already cut halfway and said, "Let him be proud of what he did." It's like when kids are in first grade and they learn how to spell using phonics before they are gradually taught how to spell words. You don't use red ink and circle all of their misspellings, so you don't correct the cutting that a little disabled boy just did, either. I literally held onto the paper for about 15 seconds while she was trying to decide if she was going to cut my fingers or not. O_O Also, Miss Paula didn't ask me my name or introduce herself. She didn't have the kids tell me their names - I just was able to figure them out for myself. The only ones I knew were McKayla and Rachel because they are Brianna and Leslie's children. We have the second VBS prep night tomorrow and I'm going to try to get to know the people (women) because in the Children's Ministry meeting nobody said who they were or anything. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???? I have social skills issues, but that is the most basic thing ever and nobody has ever done it with the SS or the meetings or anything. Yet we are to work together. *eye roll*
Well, I've complained enough! It's our day to complain, I guess. I'm going to only post positive things for the next two days!!! =)
I hope you feel better soon! George